Your answers: Coping with illness

Maisie1 says,

‘My mum has not seen a GP for 30 years and refused to do so. Yesterday she became quite ill. I called my doctor, who is aware that Mum is living with me but refuses to see a doctor and get a diagnosis of dementia. I called 999, as advised by my doctor after they refused to come out. Mum accepted them being here, despite my anxiety. I understand I must do what she needs.’

nae sporran says,  

‘When my partner has been ill and not eating, soups and Complan or similar drinks were recommended.’ 

canary says,

‘My other half is in a much longer period of respite care this time as I have been ill, so I have been visiting, but only two or three times a week.’  

Maytree says,

‘Over the last three years since my dad’s partner left him, I have been left to organise his care. He is now in a nursing home, diagnosed with mixed dementia two years ago. He also has advanced myeloma with no more treatment options, just palliation, because of the myeloma, which is cancer of the bone marrow that causes lots of problems. 

‘This included a fracture of his upper arm two years ago. He did not express pain, only rubbed his arm now and again. Luckily, we were seeing his pain doctor who x-rayed his arm. It was within a hair’s breadth of breaking. He had to have surgery on it, it was probably due to the dementia that he would forget he had pain. 

‘He has been in hospital with many infections, which he remembers none of, but I do as I lived it sitting by his bedside wondering, “Is this it?” I think maybe it is a good thing he does not remember, but it takes its toll on you.’

Grannie G says, 

‘I think the only people who really understand the stresses of caring are those who have been there and when the carer is also ill, it’s even worse. 

‘Do you get any time for yourself? If not, please try. I know it will be an effort for you, but it might be worth it in the long run.’