Counselling: how can it help?

Counselling is a talking therapy that gives people the chance to talk in confidence to a trained professional about problems or issues that are causing them concern. There are many different types of counselling available. This factsheet explains how counselling might help people with dementia, their carers and those who are close to them.

How does counselling work?

Counselling consists of an agreed number of regular sessions between a counsellor or therapist and the person seeking support, often called the 'client'. Sessions usually last for an hour, but they can be shorter. Counselling can last for a few weeks, several months or even years. The counsellor listens to the person's concerns in a non-judgemental and supportive manner. Together, the counsellor and the client try to find ways for the client to cope and/or feel better about themselves and their situation. This may result in a more satisfying and manageable life.

Successful counselling depends more on the development of a trusting relationship between the counsellor and the client than on the type of counselling used. It is this relationship that can really help a person to feel better and deal more effectively with their problems. It is therefore important that people work with a counsellor whose approach and manner they are comfortable with.

The relationship between client and counsellor is confidential. This means what is discussed at the sessions will not be disclosed to anyone else. Some of the issues that the client will bring to the session may be distressing or embarrassing. This is normal. Sharing these feelings and thoughts in a supportive, safe and confidential setting is often helpful, and can be life changing.

Counselling can increase feelings of self-worth, well-being and capability, and help ease feelings of depression, anxiety, loss of control and sleeplessness.

Who can counselling help?

Counselling can help anyone who wants to explore issues that may be concerning them. People from all walks of life have counselling for a wide range of concerns, issues and problems. Some people use counselling for personal growth and development, and as an investment in their own well-being. Others use it to help them cope with specific difficulties, such as serious illness or mental health problems. Counselling can be beneficial in many varied situations.

How long will it take?

Some people get everything they need from one session or from just a few. Others prefer to work over a much longer period of time, for months or even years. There is no standard length of time for counselling. It depends on how the counsellor works, what the client needs and what the client and counsellor agree together.

How can counselling help someone with dementia?

Being diagnosed with, and living with, dementia can raise many difficult feelings and thoughts. People find it understandably hard to make sense of what is happening to them and how their life is changing. Some feel angry, confused, frightened or anxious. Concerns about their family and friends may be tied up in how they themselves are feeling, and the person may find it difficult to discuss their feelings frankly with those who are close to them. Counselling may offer someone with dementia the opportunity to speak honestly about their feelings and work out ways to live with their condition.

Traditional counselling expects clients to have full use of their cognitive abilities. However, experience has shown that people with significant changes in their cognition (their memory, speech and thought processes) still respond well to the emotional content of the counselling sessions.

How can counselling help the carer of a person with dementia?

Being close to someone with dementia, including as a carer or a caring professional, can feel overwhelming and lonely. In particular, carers often have very little time to themselves, and it is easy to get run down and exhausted. Many carers experience feelings of sadness, grief, guilt or anger. Counselling may help them to explore these feelings in confidence, as well as providing extra support outside their network of friends and family.

How can counselling help somebody who used to care for a person with dementia?

A former carer or care worker may feel lost or sad when the person they have cared for moves away or dies. After the caring relationship ends, it may be difficult to move on, to recover from the loss and to accept a new and different role. This is a normal reaction. Counselling may help a former carer to accept the past and look ahead to the future.

What should I look for in a counsellor?

If you are seeking counselling, it is important that you feel comfortable with the counsellor. This will depend on your own personality and that of the counsellor. You may need to speak to several different counsellors before you find the right person. It is also important to check that the counsellor:

• has at least a diploma in counselling from an accredited programme of counselling
• abides by a professional code of ethics
• has regular ongoing professional supervision to ensure safe and ethical practice
• discusses their approach, confidentiality, fees, length of sessions and responsibilities (yours and theirs) with you before committing to sessions.

What is the best way to find a counsellor?

There are many ways to find a counsellor. A recommendation from someone else who has had counselling can be very helpful.

Counselling services accessed through NHS referrals are usually free of charge. GPs can often provide details of local counsellors, and some GP surgeries even run a counselling service. Your local social services department may also have information about local charities offering counselling services − the number will be in the phone book.

Another option is to find a private counsellor. Most private counselling services operate a sliding scale for fees. The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) can provide more information about counselling and local counselling services. See 'Useful organisations', below.

Your local Alzheimer's Society branch will always be willing to talk to you and offer advice and information to support your needs.

For more information, Dementia Catalogue, our specialist dementia information resource, is available on the website at alzheimers.org.uk/dementiacatalogue

Useful organisations

Age Concern England

Freepost SWB 30375
Ashburton
Devon TQ13 7ZZ
T 0800 00 99 66 (free helpline every day 8am-7pm)
E use the enquiry form on the website (see below)
W http://www.ace.org.uk/

Provides advice and information for older people in England.

Age Concern Cymru

Ty John Pathy
13-14 Neptune Court
Vanguard Way
Cardiff CF24 5PJ
T 029 2041 3555
E enquiries@accymru.org.uk
W http://www.accymru.org.uk/

Provides advice and information for older people in Wales.

Alzheimer's Society

Devon House
58 St Katharine's Way
London E1W 1JX
T 020 7423 3500
   0845 300 0336 (helpline open 8.30am-6.30pm weekdays)
E info@alzheimers.org.uk (general information)
   helpline@alzheimers.org.uk (helpline)
W alzheimers.org.uk

The UK's leading care and research charity for people with dementia and those who care for them. The helpline provides information, support, guidance and referrals to other appropriate organisations.

British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP)

BACP House
35-37 Albert Street
Rugby
Warwickshire CV21 2SG
T 0870 443 5252
E bacp@bacp.co.uk
W http://www.bacp.co.uk/
     http://www.counselling.org.uk/

National body representing counsellors and psychotherapists. Can provide a list of counsellors and psychotherapists in your area.

Carers UK

20 Great Dover Street
London SE1 4LX
T 0808 808 7777 (free carers' line, Wednesday and Thursday 10am-12pm and 2pm-4pm)
E info@ukcarers.org
W http://www.carersuk.org/

Provides information and advice to carers about their rights, and how to access support.

Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB)

Various locations
W http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/
     http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/

Your local CAB can provide information and advice in confidence or point you in the right direction. To find your nearest CAB look in the phone book, ask at your local library or look on the citizens advice website (above). Opening times vary.

Depression Alliance

212 Spitfire Studios
63-71 Collier Street
London N1 9BE
T 0845 123 23 20
E information@depressionalliance.org
W http://www.depressionalliance.org/

Provides information and support services to those affected by depression.

Mind

PO Box 277
Manchester M60 3XN
T 0845 766 0163 (Mindinfoline 9.15-5.15 weekdays)
E contact@mind.org.uk
W http://www.mind.org.uk/

The leading mental health charity in England and Wales. Publishes information on all aspects of mental health and providing a range of support through 200 local associations.

Samaritans

T 08457 90 90 90 (24 hours, seven days a week)
E jo@samaritans.org
W http://www.samaritans.org/

Samaritans provide confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day, for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair, including those which could lead to suicide. To find your nearest branch look in the phone book or on the Samaritans website (above).

Factsheet 445

Last updated: July 2008
Last reviewed: July 2008

Reviewed by: Dr Catherine Mummery, Consultant Neurologist, National Hospital for Neurology and Neurosurgery

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