A person with dementia and their carer being supporter by their carer

Guilt and dementia: How to manage guilty feelings as a carer

Guilty feelings, anger and stress can be difficult to deal with as a carer of somebody living with dementia. Read our advice to help identify and manage guilty feelings.

Caring for a person with dementia can be very challenging. You’re likely to experience an extreme range of emotions, one of which is often guilt. 

You might feel like you’re not doing a good enough job of caring for a loved one, or you may be struggling to accept help. These feelings are completely normal, and very common. 

It’s important to identify and acknowledge any feelings of guilt, so you can start managing and working through them. Here are some common situations that might lead to guilt, along with some advice on managing your feelings. 

7 ways carers may feel guilt, and how to manage them:

1. Feeling that other carers seem to manage better than you

Meeting up with other carers at support groups or reading about other people’s experiences might make you think other carers are coping better than you are. You may feel guilty you haven’t lived up to your own expectations, or to the expectations you believe other people have of you. But remember, there’s no such thing as the ‘perfect carer’, and it’s important not to be too hard on yourself.

Are you being realistic about what you can achieve? If not, can you reduce any of the expectations you have of yourself, or get any more help? 

Sometimes just letting family and friends know how you feel may give them the opportunity to help out.

2. Feeling bad about how you treated the person before they were diagnosed

Sometimes, carers feel bad about how they behaved towards the person before they were diagnosed with dementia. For example, you might have shown feelings of irritation or criticism towards them at some point.

Try to remember that everyone gets frustrated with their partner or family members from time to time.

You weren’t to know that they had dementia and you couldn’t have foreseen what the future held. Dementia can have a profound effect on a person’s behaviour and without advice, guidance, or the knowledge of an underlying condition, these changes can be very difficult to understand.

3. Feeling guilty about getting angry or irritated

If you feel angry and frustrated, you might occasionally have angry outbursts towards the person you’re caring for. Many carers find it hard to forgive themselves in this situation.

Try to remember that caring can be very stressful, and anger or frustration are natural in this situation. Taking some time for yourself to do something that you enjoy – such as reading or cooking – can help to improve these feelings. Exercise and relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, can make you feel happier and less stressed and can relieve your anger and frustration. 

At times when you do find yourself becoming angry or frustrated, it can help to leave the room for a while to allow things to settle.

4. Feeling guilty for wanting time apart

You may feel guilty about having time to yourself, but everyone needs to recharge their batteries now and again. It’s very important for carers to enjoy some time away from their caring role.  

Many carers find that giving themselves some time apart and doing things that make them feel happy and positive, makes them more able to fulfil their role.

If the person you’re caring for can't be left alone, ask friends or family whether they could pop in for a short time, or whether they could come and stay with the person for a few days.
 

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Discussions about Guilt in our online community, Talking Point...
Discussions about Guilt...

5. Feeling shameful about accepting help from others

Many carers feel they should be able to manage without any help. But looking after a person with dementia can be exhausting. 

You may be able to free up some valuable time by accepting respite care, such as help in the home, daycare services, or residential care services. This will give you more energy and may enable you to go on caring for longer.

Even if the person with dementia is initially upset about others becoming involved, they may well come to terms with the idea. The first experience of separation often makes carers feel guilty and unable to relax, but in time you will probably get used to the separation and will be able to see the benefits this can bring.

6. Feeling guilty about the move into a care home

Carers often feel that moving the person into a home is a betrayal. You might think you’ve let the person down, or that you should have coped for longer. You may have previously promised the person you would always look after them at home and now feel forced to break that promise. 

Remember that any promises were probably made in a completely different situation. The move to a care home doesn’t need to mean that you give up your caring role completely – it’s just a different way of caring. 

Some carers find residential care helps them to have a better relationship with the person, as their time together can be more special, less stressful, and more like it used to be before the constant worry about practicalities.

7. Mixed feelings about the person’s death

When someone with dementia dies, many carers say they initially feel some sense of relief. Then they feel ashamed or shocked that they have had these feelings.

Rest assured, relief can be a normal reaction. Many carers go through much of their grieving process throughout the illness, as they notice each small deterioration in the person. Talk to people about your feelings and remember there is no one ‘right’ way to feel when someone you have been caring for has died.

Do you have experience of dealing with guilt or any advice for anyone who might be struggling with these feelings? Let us know in the comments below, and help other people realise they’re not alone.

This article was first published on 7 November 2018, and last updated on 10 August 2021.

Looking after yourself as a carer

Supporting a person with dementia can be positive and rewarding, but it can also be challenging. Read our advice on how you can make sure you're looking after yourself, as well as the person you're supporting. 

Find out more
Dementia Connect support line
Our dementia advisers are here for you.

183 comments

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I thought I’d feel relieved when Mum was finally freed from the torture of dementia, but I don’t. I don’t know how to live without her. I can’t stop crying and people keep saying things like “I’m glad it was peaceful”, but they don’t know it was peaceful - nobody knows because she died all alone. I should have been with her when she died and I’ll never forgive myself. I just wish I could have held her hand and told her goodbye and I love you.

Hi there Cheryl,

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

If you would like any support, please call our Dementia Connect support line on 0333 150 3456. More details of the support line are available here: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/dementia-connect-support-line

We also have some information on our website on dealing with bereavement that you may find helpful:
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/help-dementia-care/feelings-a…

If you would like to talk to other people with similar experiences, you may also be interested in looking at our online community - Talking Point. There's a section there called 'After dementia - dealing with loss' which may be of interest: https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/

I hope this is helpful, Cheryl. Please do call our support line if you would like any support.

Take care,

Alzheimer's Society web team

My father in law lives in the town where his wife is in a home with advanced vascular dementia. He is considering moving to live with family (daughter and grandchildren) a distance away. Can anyone point me in the direction of some reading material or advice that could reassure this decision. He has feelings of abandonment and guilt just thinking about moving away but he is lonely and getting older. Any advice or reading suggestions welcome. Thanks

Thanks for getting in touch, Emma. It sounds like your father-in-law may benefit from talking with others who have been through or are currently in similar situations.

Within our online community, Talking Point, carers and other people affected by dementia share their experiences, advice and offer support. You can browse the community without registering, or sign up to become a member: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/dementia-talking-point-our-on… It's free to use, and open day or night.

You or your father-in-law could also speak with our dementia advisers through our support line on 0333 150 3456. They are here to listen and understand the situation, and provide advice and support. More details about the support line (including opening hours) are available here: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/dementia-connect-support-line

In the meantime, we do have a factsheet called ‘Care homes: when's the right time and who decides?’, which could be of interest. There’s a section within it specifically with advice and practical tips for carers related to care homes: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/help-dementia-care/care-homes… The full 21-page factsheet is also available to download as a PDF: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/sites/default/files/2018-12/476LP%20Care%…

We also have a factsheet called ‘Carers: Looking after yourself’, which may be helpful. There’s a section within it around caring as dementia progresses, mentioning care homes: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/help-dementia-care/caring-dem… The full 23-page factsheet is also available to download as a PDF: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/sites/default/files/pdf/carers_-_looking_…

We hope this helps, Emma. Please do reach out to the support line, or visit Talking Point.

Alzheimer's Society website team

I am struggling with the caring of my Mother and her inability to have reasoning, this is leading to a very fraught relationship between us which for her is very short lived but for myself is becoming very frustrating and also leaves me feeling very guilty that I cannot be a better carer.... how do others cope with this see saw of emotions

Hi Wendy,

It sounds like a challenging situation to be in. We'd suggest speaking with one of our trained dementia advisers through our support line on 0333 150 3456. They are here to listen to you, understand your struggles with your mother and provide you with advice and support. More details about the support line (including opening hours) are available here: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/dementia-connect-support-line

You might also benefit from talking with others who have been or are currently in similar situations. Within our online community, Talking Point, carers and other people affected by dementia share experiences, advice and offer support. You can browse the community without registering, or sign up to become a member: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/dementia-talking-point-our-on… It's free to use, and open day or night.

We hope this helps, Wendy.

Alzheimer's Society blog team

I have had to put my dad into care as he is a hi risk of falls and has dementia I cared for my mum after a massive stroke my mum since has passed away my dad had to be transferred to all male unit 45 mins drive away. I go as often as I can when I can’t go I face time him. He has had covid and could go for a few weeks. He has started being nasty and saying I never visit. I had to hang up on him as this was upsetting me as dad isn’t usually like this. I feel so guilty as I’ve always been a daddy’s girl. I’ve cried so much lately over this. Why do I feel so guilty. I am also a carer my profession and look after other people with dementia and can cope

Hi Lyn,

We're very sorry to hear about the difficult situation you're going through. Please know that we are here for you if you need someone to talk to.

You can call our Dementia Connect support line on 0333 150 3456 to speak with one of our trained dementia advisers. They are here to listen to you, understand your situation and provide you with advice and support. More details about the support line (including opening hours) are available here: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/dementia-connect-support-line

You might also benefit from talking to others who have been or are currently in similar situations. Within our online community, Talking Point, carers and other people affected by dementia share experiences, advice and offer support. You can browse the community or sign up for free here: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/dementia-talking-point-our-on…

We hope this helps, Lyn.

Alzheimer's Society blog team

On June 20th 2021 I had to move in and take care of my mom with dementia. At first it was a little confusion and inability to do ADL. Two weeks ago she declined swiftly and dr said some people have a slow fade and others experience a swift change. I care for mom at home but its getting so hard because I have no support...brother in denial, children dont know how to react and her sisters are too in denial. I promised her when she was diagnosed that I would never place her in a nursing home but its getting so hard. Now I'm a kind stranger in her house. I was in nursing caring for dementia patients for 15 years and resigned to care for mom but its soooooooo different caring for a family member. I really thought I could handle this and now I'm having doubts.

My elderly dad is struggling to cope with being the sole carer for step mum who has is deteriorating badly with vascular dementia. He believes that taking her into a home to give him respite has made her deteriorate further and wants her back home even though he is exhausted physically and mentally. She is well looked after and thinks she is still at home. Essentially finding the whole idea of "respite" extremely stressful and not able to get any respite at all. Mentally he is depressed and feels like he is living out both their worst nightmares. They never wanted a life like this, I remember vividly them both talking about it very seriously some years back. How can I help him in this situation now? Feels like we are all totally helpless and just watching him slowly lose her bit by bit. I worry about what he might do left on his own.

Hi there Frances, thanks for getting in touch.

It sounds like an incredibly worrying time for you and your family.

We'd strongly recommend speaking with a dementia adviser. If you call 0333 150 3456, they will listen to your situation, then provide you with dementia information, advice and support. More details about the support line (including opening hours) are available here: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/dementia-connect-support-line

You may also find it helpful to talk to others affected by dementia. Within our online community, Talking Point, people can share their experiences of dementia, and offer advice and support. You can browse the conversations that are happening in the community or sign up to become a member: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/dementia-talking-point-our-on… It's free to use, and open day or night.

We really hope this is helps for now, Frances. Please do call our support line on 0333 150 3456 if you need someone to talk to about your dad and step mum.

Alzheimer’s Society website team

I care for my mum who has vascular dementia which was diagnosed 5 years ago who still lives in her own house in the same street as me (opposite) I also care for my Down syndrome sister who has advanced Alzheimer’s and lives at home with my mum.
I feel lexhausted. My mum asks everyday where her mum is (who died 20 years ago) she calls me by her sisters name (who has also died 12 years ago). My sister is double incontinent and needs to wear adult nappies day and night but mum removes them saying she’s ok now, hence my sister has accidents all over the house. Mum asks when she’s going back home and thinks she’s visiting me for a holiday. Last night I’ve not slept as the guilt of how I was feeling and how ashamed I am that I shouted at my mum for wandering in the street late at night with my sister in pjs …. When I got her in my house she looked very frail and was upset that she hadn’t seen her mum. I feel like I can’t go on like this, and I’m scared that mum might be in late stages and time is running out.

Jacqueline, this sounds like an extremely challenging situation to be in.

We'd strongly recommend talking to one of our advisers through our Dementia Connect support line (0333 150 3456). They will provide you with advice and support. Find more information about the support line, including opening times, here: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/dementia-connect-support-line

Please do call the support line, Jacqueline - you are not alone.

Alzheimer's Society blog team

My husband has bvFTD - diagnosed in 2018 at the age of 74. I was looking after him 24/7 until Covid came into our home. I put him into care in August while I recovered from Covid as it hit me quite badly but then it was suggested by family and friends that he stay there permanently. They said I had done my bit and now it was time for me to have a break and start to enjoy the rest of my life. They don’t understand - my husband IS my life.

I feel I have been press ganged into placing him permanently and am riddled with guilt so badly that I am finding it difficult to cope with life without him. We have been married 53 years. I cry most days and find it hard to motivate myself and I am not eating properly. Dreadful thing to say but I think the pain of him passing would be easier than this pain I feel right now of him being in a care home. Only people who have gone through this process will understand how I am feeling.

The care home is small and compact, the Manager and staff are friendly and the Owner is very hands on. I visit and take my husband out for walks or do activities with him in the home. He seems quite happy there and never asks to go home although I don’t believe he has the mental capacity to know where home is?

The main reason for my angst and guilt is that I wasn’t having too many problems with my husband - he slept through the night and I had to get him up in the morning, I had to shower, shave and dress him, he had carers three mornings a week to do activities whilst I did my own thing, we went for a walk most afternoons and the rest of the time he was happy to sat in front of tv. I only had the odd hiccup when he wouldn’t go upstairs to bed and my daughter had to come round and help me. He has been doubly incontinent almost since diagnosis and I often had to propel him to the toilet to change him during the day - he is 6’1” and I am 5’3” and he is still quite strong but has never been aggressive.

When I read my FTD Support Group page I see that others are going through much worse than I was experiencing and I feel I have given up too soon on my husband - and I am someone who never gives up.

Part of me is wondering if I have an underlying concern in that I am having to fork out £1100 a week for my husband’s care?? I do miss him in our home even although he had no conversation. I did speak to Admiral Nurse for advice and she said I had done the right thing as she has seen so many cases where people struggle to keep a loved one at home and then a crisis comes along and others have to take over and make decisions for you and your loved one. But I don’t feel that I was struggling - if only I had a crystal ball!

Hello Margaret,

Thank you for sharing your experiences. You might benefit from joining our online community, Talking Point, where carers and other people affected by dementia can share their experiences and receive peer support. This could be a great place for you to talk with other people who have been in similar situations - or, you are welcome to read through the conversations without registering as a member. It's free to join and open day or night: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/dementia-talking-point-our-on…

We'd also recommend calling our Dementia Connect support line on 0333 150 3456 if you were looking to talk on the phone to a dementia adviser. They can provide emotional support, as well as information or advice. More details about the support line (including opening hours) are available here: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/dementia-connect-support-line

We hope this helps, Margaret.

Alzheimer's Society blog team

Hello Margaret, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I recognise your feelings of guilt about putting your husband in a home too soon. I did exactly the same thing with my mum, except she lived alone , and the only way I could have kept her out of a home would have been to have her live with me. I couldn't do it, my husband was set against it, but I know it wasn't just him. Anyway, it's been over four years, I visit and did a lot before covid. Overall, it was the right thing to do, we do deserve to have our own lives. I hang on to that. But the guilt resurfaces and always will. Take care, you know your husband loved you. What would he have said before it all happened? I'm sure they wouldn't have wanted us to spiral down in to the depression and anxiety that many carers experience. Some never really recover their lives. Focus on making your life the best it can be as he would have wanted. I used Talking Point all the time at first and got lots of support from reading other people's stories

Hi Joan - I am so sorry that I have not got round to responding to your lovely consoling message above - I used to be so efficient at keeping up with paperwork etc. but have let things slide recently. I agree with everything you say above and everyone tells me I have done the right thing - I will never come to terms with putting my husband in a care home and every time I take him out he is so good that it makes the guilt even worse - everyone tells me to stop beating myself up about it. I am 74 and 5' 3" and my hubby is 78 and 6' 1" and was difficult to manhandle at times and believe it or not, he is still as strong as an ox. I have had a few teething problems with the care home but these have all been resolved and I am happy with where he is - the Carers are all lovely and there is lots going on so he gets plenty of stimulation - and most importantly I am more relaxed and take him out every other day - mainly to try and keep his mobility. I hope you are feeling a little less guilty about placing your mum - if you had taken her to live with you it may have had dire consequences on your marriage, no matter how strong it was. Take care and thanks again for taking the time to respond to my message.

I suppose you could bring him back considering he isnt violent or wandering all night?

My dad has always been the most articulate man you could ever wish to meet! Not a bad bone in his body! He is still absolutely delish, but I can't reach him anymore! We took him out for a bacon bun and a cup of coffee yesterday morning and dads table manners were horrendous! Do I give in?? I've been so determined to take dad out for treats in order to give him choice of what food he fancies !
I've lost my dad, but he is strong as an ox ( according to the ambulance people, I don't know where to turn from here x

Hi Jenny,

We're really sorry to hear about your dad, this must be a difficult time for you both.

You might find it useful to join our online community, Talking Point, where carers and other people affected by dementia can share their stories and receive support. It could be a great place for you to speak with others who have been in similar situations, and get advice: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/dementia-talking-point-our-on…

Please also know that you can always call our Dementia Connect support line on 0333 150 3456 for advice and support specific to your dad's situation from one of our trained dementia advisers. More details about the support line (including opening hours) are available here: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/dementia-connect-support-line

Hope this helps, Jenny.

Alzheimer's Society blog team

I got very irritated with my husband today, and I feel so guilty now. Was I wrong to be irritated? He took the water hose and sprayed water all over me and the outdoor furniture to get rid of the ‘people’ who wont leave our yard. He has Lewy Body Dementia and hallucinates all day. The outburst actually frightened me, and I reacted badly Im afraid. I tried to stop him, and when he wouldn’t I pretty much wouldn’t talk to him until I cooled down. Does my behavior have a negative affect on him?

Hope you and your Hubble are both ok.

My sweet mom passed away 6 weeks ago from Lewy Body. She was only in her late 50s when the sleeping during the day and falls began followed by the hallucinations in her 60s. Her diagnosis was reached when I moved her into my care and we noticed tremors beginning and the Parkinsonism symptoms set in, about 3 years ago at 71. Once that began she quickly slipped down the slope, fell very I’ll from a UTI missed by her assisted living facility during a Covid outbreak lockdown. she aspirated at the hospital, went to Hospice and died a 3 month long death succumbing to another aspiration and sepsis from her bed sore. Has to be one of the most dreadful and cruel illnesses that exists. When mom had her hallucinations out we didn’t countless hours a day going in circles trying help her think her way out, until the diagnosis made it all make sense. A few times she said things that were out of character. I’m pretty patient but I still told her it wasn’t nice. She would later apologize as she still felt the guilt. I viewed it as a symptom, which it is. It helped me separate my emotions and have grace…. And to be honest much of that came from a lot of prayer and reading my Bible to sharpen my faith. My husband would not let me take my mother in from the start. It nearly killed med having a huge heart for my mom. Her first year in assisted living near me I would go and stay there all day caring for free, feeding her, changing her, helping her shower, holding her beautiful hand and watching Lifetime movies together. A year later Covid would hit and shut me out the next year and a half. I would only have April-August 2021 left to visit her before the last Covid outbreak and shutdown kept me at the window again…. however, by then I began working and mostly saw her on Friday afternoons for several hours. Followed by the hospital, Hospice and her death. I spent most everyday with her at Hospice. I never grew tired of being with her (but I did get very emotionally drained). In the last year when she was completely unable to help herself I began to realize she was in a place I wouldn’t be able to handle and the assisted living was appropriate. If it wasn’t for Covid it would have been good. My mom never really succumbed to the dementia never losing her sense of who she was, who we were, always aware of things. Only during the time her hallucinations were uncontrolled did I think she was disconnected. For you my friend, getting the hallucinations under control may give you some time to enjoy dad longer. Mom has been through some typical antipsychotic meds before her diagnosis and they landed her in elderly psych ward with Respiradone being the culprit. Years later her diagnosis we learned that drug makes LBD and can be lethal. We tried the new Nuplazid which is specifically for LBD and Parkinson’s type hallucinations. It did nothing. It took several years to find the right med which turned out to be Abilify and we added Cymbalta for depression and anxiety. The hallucinations never returned. I was able to talk to mom again for 2 years until her death. It wasn’t perfect though because as time went on she slowly lost her ability to use words well. By the time she went to hospice she was only saying 3-5 on a good day. Focus on the hallucinations treatment. You will have to stick close and really monitor any changes you see with dad. Things that made me switch and try a new med were: no response, worse anxiety that lasted more than a month. when we found the right med there was more work to be done. She became nonverbal, out of it, sleeping too much, not eating well at all. We kept decreasing the dose to where it was still effective but she could function her best. She was still not herself and you could tell she was slower. But she was not mentally suffering anymore ( her hallucinations disturbed her way too much where it was worth the slowing down).
I was relieved when mom passed. Everyone thought I would fall apart but Renee I read my Bible, I prayed and I had faith. I knew mom was really with Jesus, really has a new body now and is not suffering and wouldn’t come back if she could. She’s is filled with joy and praising Jesus all the day long. It fills my heart and she is not the wind beneath my wings as I hear up to enjoy the rest of my life, though forever in the life changed having to live without my sweet sweet mom….I will join her one day and tell her all I accomplished because of her love, her life and her death. She wasn’t the perfect mom and made mistakes that were hard on my life but God. But God. He changed everything about me and how I look at me, people, life and death.
Enjoy your dad, love him, advocate for him. Balance this with your life and family. It is hard. Very hard but you can do it, ask God to guide you. When you fail, give yourself much needed grace. About you aren’t above this, only God can be perfect. Be comfortable with being human. Stayed connected, talk to a counselor, never lose sight of taking care of you inasmuch as you are able.
Big hugs to you, I’ve been there and I know you NEED it.
Jenny

My mum doesn't have a full diagnosis yet but it looks like when she does it will be frontotemporal dementia whixh I've thought for years but its taken a battle to get professionals to see the issues. My father was looking after her until recently when he passed away quite suddenly and now I have replaced him as her carer. I struggle every day with her and feel lonely and isolated (I'm 100 miles from my home and husband) but the main thing is how guilty I feel about now looking for residential care so I can get back to.my home and husband. I feel like I've let her and my father down and I should be doing it myself but I can't.

My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Dementia in August 2020. From there his condition deteriorated rapidly. We had suspected for sometime that he had a neurological problem. His spatial awareness was affected and he had been involved in several car crashes, writing off three vehicles in 5 months. Examinations at the eye clinic had found no explanation for his problems. The diagnosis of Alzheimer's answered some questions, but it was all downhill from there.
We had two appointments at the NHS Memory Clinic, where medication was prescribed. After that the clinics were suspended because of Covid-19. We were on our own. The only support we had was from Alzheimer's Society. I confess I did feel alone and unsupported. Luckily, the occasion never arose, but I could never have left him alone and with no means of respite, I did worry about that.
I never met any other carers, so I will never know how my standard of care compares, no basis for guilt there. When my husband died, after falling down the stairs and damaging his spine, I felt relief because he was at peace and we would be spared the final stages of the disease. Should I feel guilty about that? Well, I'm sorry, but I don't. I did everything I could, throughout the whole episode. I was shocked, saddened, but not guilty.

This thread is so helpful. My mom was recently diagnosed with Lewy Body dementia. It took approximately 5 months to get a diagnosis and prior to it we had a drastic change to our relationship. The dementia heightened her feelings of paranoia and distrust and she was and still is for a little bit today that I was coming into the home, stealing things, allowing other people in the house etc even though I live 6 hours away. Finally it got to the point I could no longer stay at the house with her, her episodes would worsen at night and sometimes get physical to the point we had to call the police to our house. Since the diagnosis I try to balance living away from home and working remote in my home and then travelling back to my mom to work on finding the best course of treatment and care for her. I battle with so much hopelessness and immense sadness around the whole situation. Even when I come home to visit I can’t even stay at my old family home with my mom and that makes me feel sad, defeated and at times not encouraged to come home. I keep replaying signs I felt I missed or even times I should have tried to live closer to her , spend more time with her , etc. I don’t know if these feelings will ever go away and I’m really trying to take it day by day. I really appreciate everyone sharing their stories and experiences and its some solace that I’m not alone. This disease is terrible and heartbreaking and I hope one day an effective cure is found.

I feel guilty about he fact that visiting my mother with severe dementia is difficult and upsetting.

Don’t feel guilty. You are doing your best. Talk to the staff, the nursing manager.
My mum was like this too always saying the staff were awful. Then when I left I could see though the window she was away do her lunch talking to people. The dementia makes people say things they don’t mean. Be good to yourself. Take some time out to yourself and meet with a friend if current lockdown restrictions allow.

Yes but how deal with ig take off i dont undetstand that part. I try not geel.guity nut hard ser some love dlow img fafe eay. Plus i have mentel illness ots hard copy but hurts me i meed find place for het but i whated nice o font no how about tp fo it

I found this item of great comfort. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one in the world who has the guilt feeling about putting my wife into a nursing home 15 months ago with end stage Alzheimer’s and I’m on this journey on my own.

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