Dementia care: The crisis behind closed doors

We held a parliamentary photo exhibition, highlighting the human cost of the social care crisis to MPs. Here you can see some of the images and hear from the people affected by dementia who were photographed.

For too long, the dementia care crisis has been hidden behind closed doors, lived by people who rarely have opportunities to be heard. ‘Dementia Care: The Crisis Behind Closed Doors’ tells the stories of 12 families from across the country, all of whom have struggled to access affordable, good quality care.

We invited MPs from across all the main political parties to attend and meet some of the families featured in the exhibition to hear more about their experiences. We hope that these often unheard, powerful stories illustrated the wide range of challenges people with dementia face in the current care system. We want these images and stories to inform the debate on social care and encourage MPs to take action to fix it. 

Read the stories behind the photos

Below we have collection of the photos from the exhibition which took place on 9 July 2019. You can read quotes from the people affected by dementia who took part. Most importantly, you can help make the Dementia Fund a reality by signing a public letter to the future Prime Minister.

Dementia Care 1

Christine’s husband Bernard was moved from multiple care homes due to poor care.

Christine and Bernard

'My husband was in five different care homes, almost all of which he had to be removed from for his own safety. No other family should have to go through this.

Bernard’s story does not make for easy reading. Before passing away in 2017, he repeatedly experienced the kind of appalling treatment that no one should ever have to endure. His treatment in one care home is still subject to a criminal negligence case. As I see it, he was dangerously let down again and again by staff who lacked the training and the understanding to keep my husband safe. He had to be moved into different homes multiple times because of very poor care.' - Christine

Dementia Care 9

Sylvia and Philip have spent £160,000 on nursing care.

Philip, Rosemary and Sylvia

'Mum wouldn’t survive more than 48 hours without nursing care. Why have we had to spend £160,000 to make sure that doesn’t happen? If you want the process of applying for dementia support to be efficient, transparent and straightforward, then our experience – as we’ve sought support for our mum, Sylvia – could hardly have been further from the ideal.' - Philip

Dementia Care 10

Enomwoyi and Pearl pay £570 a month for private carers.

Enomwoyi and Pearl

'For just two hours of care each day, we pay £570 a month for private carers. The previous carers, sourced by the local council, would not even say hello to my mum and I would have to explain her needs repeatedly.

It was only when I really put my foot down, after seven months of waiting for a social services assessment and mum ending up in hospital, that mum’s care finally began to move forward – and still our savings are disappearing fast.' - Enomwoyi

Dementia Care 2

Atherton and Deborah are worried about what will happen when their savings run out.

Atherton and Deborah

'We pay an extra amount every week in fees just because my husband has dementia. The savings covering these costs won’t last forever. I am constantly thinking, then what?

With each week that passes, the stress of covering the costs of Atherton’s dementia care grows. By the end of the year, he’ll have nothing left.' - Deborah

Dementia Care 3

Julia and her husband Bob would benefit from night care but it is too expensive.

Julia and Bob

'Dementia has not only robbed my husband of the life he built, it’s also stolen his identity. I need some help to get us through this.

My husband Bob, who lives with dementia, needs care during the day. But it is the nights that are extremely difficult. Every night Bob wakes up shouting, keeping me awake throughout the night. It’s loud enough to wake the neighbours too. Night care would massively reduce the strain, but the only option I’ve been offered is too expensive.' - Julia

Dementia Care 5

Ivana and Val worked hard and saved for the future but now have almost nothing left. 

Ivana and Val

'Watching the person you love experience this cruel disease is heartbreaking enough. We shouldn’t have to go through this financial stress too.

For many years, Ivana and I lived a very busy and happy life together. We worked hard and saved well for our future together. Initially, when Ivana was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, we stayed focused on the future. But when her health began to decline in 2018, I stopped thinking about the future we had planned together. Ivana needed to move into a care home, and our savings began to disappear. One year on, Ivana has almost nothing left and my bank balance is falling fast.' - Val

Dementia Care 7

Sharad and his daughter Nimisha have found dealing with the care system distressing.

Sharad and Nimisha

'We were told we would have to fight to get dad the right support. But nothing prepared us for how hard it would be.

I don’t think dementia ever affects just one person. It affects everyone close to them too – their family, their friends. And my experience is that the care system hasn’t helped any of us. It’s actually made things more distressing – for my dad, Sharad, and for all of us who are trying to make dad’s life with Alzheimer’s as comfortable as possible.' - Nimisha

Dementia Care 4

Jenny: 'All the money we made selling our family home has now been spent on care.' 

Jenny and her mum

'After two and a half years, the money from selling our family home had been spent on mum’s care. We had to move her because the home wouldn’t accept the rate available from social services.

Ever since mum was diagnosed with dementia, all we have wanted is to find affordable, good quality care for her. But it feels like there have been many barriers to cross to achieve this – all the money we made selling our family home has now been spent on care.' - Jenny

Dementia Care 8

Paul's brother was let down by the care system.

Paul, Hillary and Karen

'What my brother went through while in a care home was devastating. I won’t let my family go through that again.

I was recently diagnosed with the early stages of Alzheimer’s, and I’m already putting plans in place to avoid living in a care home. Having seen how the care system let down my brother, Edward, I’m doing everything I can to stay in my own home, with care workers visiting when I start needing extra help.' - Paul

Dementia Care 6

Sandra has not been told what will happen when her mum's savings run out.

Sandra and her mum

'We are days away from mum’s savings running out. Why will no one tell me what will happen to her care?

Imagine being asked to sign a contract agreeing that you will pay a regular sum of money, without the contract specifying how much. You’d think someone was having a laugh, wouldn’t you? But that’s exactly the situation I found myself in earlier this year, as I tried to organise payment for my mum’s dementia care.' - Sandra

Jag

Jag has found it very difficult to find culturally appropriate care for her mum.

Jag and her mum

'Why, in a society like ours, am I having to seek culturally appropriate care for my mum? And why do I have to pay extra for it? It’s never been easy finding support for my mum that takes cultural differences into account. She has to have female care staff and they ideally need to speak Punjabi. Arranging that really shouldn’t be as stressful as it has been.' - Jag

Lesley

Lesley's experience of the care system has been distressing for her whole family.

Lesley and Shelley

'I fear for people with dementia who don’t have relatives because they become so vulnerable. Who fights to stop them falling through this broken care system?

I became my sister Shelley’s carer overnight, with very little idea of what was ahead of me. From that moment on, getting the support we both needed seemed like an endless struggle. It’s been an extremely distressing time for the whole family.' - Lesley

Sign our letter to the next Prime Minister

At the exhibition MPs will be invited to sign a letter to the future Prime Minister asking them to address the issue of dementia care by including a Dementia Fund in this year’s Spending Review.

We are also collecting signatures for a public letter alongside the letter from MPs. If you want to help to make the Dementia Fund a reality,  sign a public letter to the future Prime Minister, demanding that the next Government takes urgent action on dementia care.

Demand action on dementia care

Help make the Dementia Fund a reality by signing a public letter to the future Prime Minister.

Sign now
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My mum had terrible care she ended up a safe guarding issue raised when she was ready to leave hospital. She ended up in fantastic home for the last 4 months of her life. Unfortunately we lost mum last weekend as from a result of not caring her poorly foot and neglect in the previous home

The Dementia care system is not funded and non existent . All politicians should be ashamed of themselves that they have ignored the tragedy of this illness. Families of the people crippled by this disease are crippled by the financial cost of caring for inflicted relatives.
All MPs should now see these patients families relieved of the costly burden of care costs.

Im so sorry for your loss, but at least it means your mum isnt suffering anymore. My mum has had to go into a home now too. She has Altzhimmers. With Luie bodies, which has many symptoms similar to Parkinson's, so she falls backwards like a plank and can't put her hands out to even break her falls and even though there are two or three nurses there, they are never near enough to catch her, so in the last 4 weeks she has split her head open three times needing stitches and last week she dislocated her shoulder and is in so much pain. What's worse is she is in N.Ireland and Im in England, so I can't even visit her? My cousin says the poor wee thing is black and blue from head to foot? They should have many more staff but with long hours and poor pay, they struggle to attract anyone? This government was happy to take mums money as she paid into the system, so now they need to seriously do something for all our poor parents and fix this broken system that lets the victims and their carers down again and again, while the promised "fix" for dementia care and the social care system for the young and old alike, just gets put back again and again, while those trapped within it struggle to cope day and night in impossible circumstances? Shame on every politician who have done nothing while our loved ones are first robbed and then let die for a lack of care from staff who are not trained properly, try their very best to cope? I fear most carers are one step away from collapsing, what will our government do then to fix it ? Wait I know, they will have another 🔟 enquireys?

You have put this so well. Thank you.

Excellent initiative 👏👏👏

I was in the second year of my doctorate in psychology when my mum underwent tests for vascular dementia. The illness deteriorated rapidly. I owe a great deal to friend who helped me get to graduation by looking after my mum when I attended lectures.
I onetime worked as a manager in an elderly local authority home and realised it was as good as the staff you worked with when it came to valuing elderly residents, but... there was a large staff dropout rate. I couldn’t put my mum at the mercy of ‘maybe she’ll be ok’. I’ve looked after her for three years at home along with a few carers. I can’t work as a psychologist and at times feel so let down by the system in place. At least I know my mother is in a familiar and safe environment with people who love and cherish her. This, I believe, is worth more than putting her at risk. Shame on our government for not supporting enough home carers to allow them to continue to work knowing their loved ones are safe at home with professional help.
My mums receiving palliative care at home now and I know she’s at peace in these difficult days ahead.
Patrick

Though dementia has a much higher profile than it dis a few years ago. The increased publicity has not prompted the government to give it has much financial support as it should give

Yes all parties sould take note of there roll and understand more about it because they do not know if will effect them at anytime or one of there family at anytime

Tony Blair's speech at Party Conference before becoming PM "No old person should have to sell their home to pay for care." Applause Nothing happened.Coalition Government, watered down version of Dilnot's recommendation accepted but deferred by Cameron and abandoned by Teresa May. Green paper? Where is it?
Thirty years of inaction reflects a total lack of concern. Find money for wars and State functions? No problem! Find money to care for the aged, physically and mentally infirm? No money, you're on your own! Where is the concern, the care, the compassion, the conscience,of our politicians? It's a scandalous shame for a country that is supposed to be rich. It's self,self,self all the way. Maybe in the next century there will be some action at last? I doubt it. People with dementia don't vote1

And let's not forget a Care Bill at the end Labours last government was talked out of time "filibustered" by all political parties

Our elderly dementia sufferers deserve to be treated as all NHS patients suffering from a terminal condition now , it’s time the UK cared for it’s elderley and middle classes whom have worked all their life.

My mother has dementia. Her brother (now deceased) also had dementia. Their sister too, is currently in a care home with dementia.
My uncle’s home was taken and sold by his local council to pay for his care whilst others on the same centre who had never worked (apart from the social care system) didn’t contribute a penny to their care.
He was charged at the time (almost 20 years ago) £15 for a weekly haircut. He was bald! The situation is appalling for those who need care and their families trying to support them.
What will happen to the current carers if they too succumb to the disease and have already spent their savings and capital looking
after a parent??

This is heart breaking that so many lovely people are being treated beyond worse and badly in care homes. Who ever are these people who are being cruel to any one that is in care, They need to be punished immediately and publicly exposed.
then locked up.

If you have contributed to the NHS through paying your taxes, how can it be right to force people to sell their homes and use their savings in order to pay for their care. Both of my parents are now in care with enough funds for just another year. When the funds are gone the State pays for their care anyway with all that they worked hard for gone.

Spend on our aged who have worked and paid taxes, not overseas aid/druggies/and alcoholics, My wife would have free treatment in prison, why not in our local care home.

To find that your lifetime partner has been diagnosed with Altzheimers Disease is stressful enough as it creates long term unresolved grief as you slowly say goodbye to the person you love. For the one who is left to care this creates anxieties enough, without the overwhelming burden of knowing that by the end of the 'long goodbye' there could be no money left from lifetime savings to make being the survivor worthwhile. Altzheimers is a disease, as are other forms of dementia, and those who suffer from it should be treated in the same way as any other NHS patient. not penalised because of the nature of their illness. Care is a disgrace in this country, and I dread the time when I can no longer meet all my loved ones needs.

My Dad is in respite whilst my Mum recovers from her hip operation. The care home has a separate dementia wing which I decided he was not sufficiently ill enough to be in. However, despite him having vascular dementia and Alzheimer's, the care home, with staff looking after residents with dementia, are of the opinion that my Dad is fine and doesn't appear to have dementia!! How they can look after people with dementia yet not recognise my Dad has it? My Mum needs both her knees replacing but there is no way my Dad will be going back in a care home, it seems I will have to look after him myself at home. Best get playing the lottery so I can afford to live!
I also know of a lovely young woman who went to work in a home with advanced stage dementia sufferers and she had no training before being thrown in the deep end and could not cope. The advert for the particular home is very inviting though, you would never know the true story of the lack of experience and expertise in 1 or more of the staff.

The scandal just keeps getting kicked down the road. Consider the two individuals trying to become the next Prime Minister. One wants to cut corporation tax for companies in the UK, estimated cost 13 billion. The other wants to raise the higher rate tax threshold from 50000 to 80000, billions again. Even if you support tax cuts surely taking care of the elderly and frail should be a higher priority. Can we cut the soft words, hushed tones, etc. It just makes me feel sick. So the richest in society get more and those with Dementia and their caring families can go hang.

Looking out for my mum it has become clear to me Dementia sufferers and their Carers are just cannon fodder ignored by the political class. That is all of them. Thirteen years of New Labour and five of the coalition showed the Liberals are just as bad. Their priority was increasing the personal tax allowance. You keep kicking innocent people. Well be careful Dementia is not picky who it strikes and you might get a front sit one day. Then maybe you will wise up, get a sense of decency and so something, not just promise to do so.

Sorry if that sounds harsh but we are not talking here about nice to haves, etc, but real basic n ends. The health service is meant to provide collective cover for illness. Strange cancer no one has to sell their house, get the cheque book out,etc. Why is Dementia so different be careful how you answer that, as we are each just one turn of the cards away from meeting Dementia.

Dementia is a terminal illness and unfortunate people are ignored so unfair on an illness that destroys them, the government should act now to help these poor people

Discrimination sums up this issue for me.

As a family we've only experienced this issue for around 10 months. Mum has no savings or property and myself and sister aren't in a financial position to provide 3rd party top ups. We've spent endless time on the phone/internet trying to find a decent care home that has good CQC reviews, is covered by Social Care funding and doesn't look like a hovel. The decision to place a loved one in the care of others is hard enough and could be made easier (on a families emotions) if there was a cap on fees and a better standard of environment expected to be allowed to operate.

My husband is in a mental home at the moment. I hopehewill be back at the care home soon, this is a terrible disease for them and the family.which I do not get much help from.It is so lonely most of the time,but we all just carry on.

These people are human beings. They have no choice but to go in a home that have high costs and run by minimum wage people that really do not care for these people. They deserve respect and the government should give money for better resource not allow the home owners to take ridicously high charges. This is a life changing disease cut the wages of politicians that are seen on tv sleeping and fund the people rhat deserve it

I have worked in homes way back 20 years ago,I reported them twice, still 20 years on same old same old,people being abused not tight enough restrictions or training ...my mum now has dementia, it's not bad enough that this disease robs us little by little of our precious mum,a mum who used to be so independent now dependent,my dad and my family rally round and care but the worry of having my mum and dad finally being robbed of what they worked so hard to achieve in their lifetime is so so cruel,the government needs to step up and fast,dementia eventually leaves these once independent people behind closed doors all but forgotten....... As they say "is everything ok" NO NO NO!!!

My husband and I have worked very hard all our lives and have our own house, savings and a good pension . My husband, at the age of 70 was diagnosed with Dementia with lewibodies. I looked after him for four years but sadly he has deteriorated and a year ago, after a long hospital stay when he contracted pneumonia I had to put him in a nursing home. I had to remove him from the first home as it was not good enough and I was worried for his safety. He is now being looked after in a very good home but I am paying £1,600 a week! I have had to use our savings which are depleting rapidly and am now taking Equity Release on my House. He has been assessed to see if I can get some monetary help with his fees but have been turned down. He can do nothing for himself and has to be fed, given fluids, is unable to walk or make himself understood and needs constant care. If he was violent and had been sectioned we might have been able to get some help but as he sits quietly, dependant on carers to look after him and live, we get nothing. Why should my money pay for other patients who are disruptive and violent in the same home?

The criteria for continuing care seem heartless to me. How can someone who has the needs of your husband be turned down for help with payment towards very necessary full time care which is not sustainable at home.

Having removed Mum 14 months ago from a"Dementia Nursing home" A 4 year ordeal of inconsistent basic care ,safe guarding, carers not to blame, the management is. A good manager provides good support good training and enough care givers with right person centred approach to deliver effective care.
People who self fund their own care are at more risk of poor care as trying to support your loved ones who cannot advocate for them selves.
CQC look at paper work and if it's written down its happend. When you experience concern raise it with the care Management. They simply defend themselves. Not make right what's going wrong.
I worry about People with advancing dementia without people to help them.
Top up fees ( Dont get me started) its criminal.

How ever Me and my family celebrate and support our Mum in her last days as I type. Dying well at home .

The worst disease imaginable, no future to look forward to, a life sentence for the carer the only consolation is knowing you care enough to care as the person you care for at some stage won't remember, add to this the financial worry no wonder people are so desperate.

Brutal treatment for the individual and brutal for families

My husband has Alzheimer’s and I am at the end of my tether as he has become very aggressive and abusive, I am struggling to find a place in a care home for him.
More care homes please

My wife is 65 and has seen escalating decline due to Alzheimer's over the past 11 years, most steeply in the last 7 months. My issue is that Norfolk SS have never given us any help at home and seem to prefer mandatory Residential Care to Day Care and assistance at home. Help that has been recommended by the local NHS Dementia Team has been denied us. Norfolk SS have used subterfuge to get my wife in to Residential Care and my initial experience of it was terrifying. At some point I accept that my wife condition will become impossible to deal with by myself, alone. But, I care about my wife, as well as for her and no salaried Care Home worker is going to make her remaining years as happy and dare I say it, as long and as health, as her loving husband.

On my wife's first evening in a Care Home, the manager when off for the weekend without informing the Carers about my wife's conditions and needs; my wife is neurologically blind, has no spatial awareness and no short-term memory due to dementia. I found her in a near catatonic state siting ignored on her own in her own faeces. Staff smoking next to open windows feet from residents. With PCA form of Alzheimer's she is severely disabled but she is aware. We have to ensure standards are the best possible and they are upheld.

WE spend billions on drug addiction treatment and do not impoverish those affected, nor their families. Why do they not have to become poor to get help, because addiction is considered a disease. Really, and what is alzheimers, a moral failing. Did we choose this disease? When will those with Alzheimer's and related dementias become worth caring for, or is it because they are mostly elderly, expendable, and not wanted anymore?

Dementia care should be treated like cancer; provided by the NHS and not means-tested; many voters are very scared by the prospect of dementia without getting free help

My mum (passed away 2017) suffered with Front Temporal Dementia. It took 6 years and her buying an apartment in the Dominican Republic for her GP to take us seriously. When she needed care t home we had to pay for those visits 3 x 1hr visits (£50.00 per day). When we finally had to move her to a home it was against her will. This opened the dreadful and mind breaking world, door of DOLS, court against them local authority, solicitors, barristers the lot. At the same time paying £1070.00 per week for her care. By the time she died she’d paid over £100k for her own care. She’d as did my father worked hard (teacher) paid taxes all their lives. They saved hard for rainy day. At the time she needed something back from the government she was completely let down by a system that’s not fit for purpose!! In addition so were we. The stress involved in a families journey through the Dementia world is mind breaking. 2 years on from her death and I’m still mentally broken as is my sister. Something must change!!

I had a terrible time with my dad, a year after he was diagnosed with dementia (after a stroke) my mum died. i had to try and juggle work and trying to care for him until he went out one day and got lost 150yds from his home. I was told by social services to find a care home for him immediately - or they would ! My dad refused to go into a home so i was told i must take him there and then just leave without him noticing ! it was the hardest thing i have ever had to do in my life. He was attacked by another person in the home, so i moved him to one i thought was a better one but i found that he was being abused by one member of staff but had no concrete proof. In the meantime all his savings were dwindling as it cost over £300 ( this was 10 years ago) he ended up in hospital as he was just skin and bone due to not eating or drinking hardly anything, after a few weeks in hospital i was told they needed the bed and i must find another care home, and again, or they would. The one he was in said they didn't want him back and i didn't want him to go back there anyway, so i found another place and after a few weeks in there he died, which to be honest was a blessing as he ended up so pitiful. I ended up having a breakdown myself due to all the stress i went through, i had no help with my dad whatsoever and had to use most of his savings on his care. I can't understand why this illness is means tested, there should be more help given to people at what is a very distressing time and nursing homes should have more rigorous checks on their staff as with my my own experience and also other stories i have heard it isn't good enough.

Dementia should be treated like any other illness and get appropriate help from our taxes.
No one knows what is in store for them in later life. We all deserve as much help as humanly possible!

Both my mum and dad had vascular dementia, and I've fought and lobbied for adequate care for them for years. It's exhausting. I've met good people along the way, but on the whole, it's been a very upsetting journey. Financials aside for a moment, the lack of understanding of issues surrounding dementia in allied health professionals and carers made the journey harder than it needed to be.

I lost 2 of my friends because of Dementia, and I lost my aunt to it 3 year before she died. Few of her family grieved at the time of her death, because we'd grieved for her loss already.

Dementia is a terrible disease, that ruins everyones lives.

My husband has Lewey Bodies Dementia. We have both worked all our working lives, paid full tax contributions - we have both paid into a Health System - and were lucky never to be hospitalised. I have now waited 6 weeks for emergancy rest bite ! Please, WAKE UP politicians !

The current position is scandalous. Care for dementia sufferers cannot be abrogated. Care needs are demanding and to present partners of sufferers with what appears to be a binary choice between self help and an inadequate Care system cannot be morally right. Resources have to be found to overhaul the care offered and more public money allocated to Social Care.

My husband has alzheimers thankfully his nursing home is excellent. But the costs are very high. All our money will be used, why is,not dementia on the same footing as other long term illnesses.

Thank you for your comments – unfortunately we hear so many stories of poor dementia care experiences, which is why we are working hard to ensure our Fix Dementia Care campaign is heard loud and clear by the Government. We are currently working on getting as many signatures as possible for a letter to the next Prime Minister, asking him to make fixing dementia care a priority. Please contact our helpline on 0300 222 1122 for any advice or emotional support you might need.

My husband has suffered enough ,on top of his dementia he has had dreadful care ,he has Dols ,I am desperate to move him,the home have lied and professionals are making him stay their .they don't like me because l have. Spoken out ,taken photos of his injuries ,he has escaped twice it was not noticed for two hours that he had gone,police hospital,smashed face, I am. Told this is how care is l have photos of lots of injuries ,one which had a naked man in the back ground.They barred me ,and then gave six hours back they have shut me up and out.its making me so il nobody cares

Hi Pamela, I'm very sorry to hear about your husband and your experiences with the care home. If you call our Helpline one of our advisers would be glad to discuss it with you and offer advice.
Our Helpline is open Monday to Wednesday (9am-8pm), Thursday to Friday (9am–5pm) and Saturday to Sunday (10am-4pm), and can be reached on 0300 222 11 22.
Thank you

It is irrational and unfair that unlike other long-term illnesses Altzheimer is treated and funded as a social rather than health care issue

It can happen to any person at any time. Until you see a friend with Dementia you don't know how it effects them or the people who love them who are around them. No matter, we should always help them to find a cure for this terrible diease which effect so many people and as the population of the Country gets older this will effect all the more people.

Of course we need properly funded care. Please will politicians firstly look at what we spend on and where we waste money and then make an admittedly probably unpopular, but necessary decision, to put a little more on tax or National Insurance, ring fence it and use it for care funding.

Sadly, both my parents died last February. Both had dementia. All my parents wanted was to stay together in their own home to the end of their days. Consequently, all their savings disappeared on the 24/7 care they needed. When my mum became eligible for 24/7 CHC funding they still had to pay towards my step-dad's social care as he was not CHC funded. If my mum had been on her own, nothing would have had to be paid for the 24/7 care. However, the worst thing of all was the delay and procrastination by the 2 funding bodies (NHS and social services) to agree mum's care plan and how the two different funding structures would resolve the situation, whereby two people were living together at home and recieving support towards their care from different funding sources. This is still very painful to recall. Both parents were unwell and near end of life. When I should have been spending more time with them, I was having to try and get the funding sorted.

My mum passed away in 2016 with FTD dementia and we cared for her at home for her last 4 months, my mum did not have to pay for 24/7 care as I'm a fully qualified Dementia specialist my dad is also a carer so my mum was extremely luck to have us by her side, I understand people frustrations with care/nursing homes and the lack of care and knowledge but please don't tarnish all carers as "abusive horrible people" I have worked with amazing carers in my career and pride myself as going above and beyond to provide quality person centred care, I'm not saying all carers are "perfect" but in my 20 years experience in the care sector I've met more exceptional people who do actually care our job is HARD WORK we have rubbish pay, long hours, bad backs from years of lifting and bending but most of us get up and go to care for the people we look after despite most of the time a very stressful ,,all I ask is that we are not looked down on and classed as "just carers" and all painted with the same brush cos believe you me we are not!

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