Dementia Support Line
LGBTQ+: Living with dementia
If you are LGBTQ+ and have dementia, these pages are for you. They have information and advice about how to live well with dementia.
- You are here: LGBTQ+: Living with dementia
- Memory problems and reminiscence as an LGBTQ+ person with dementia
- Getting support as an LGBTQ+ person with dementia
- Finding the right care as an LGBTQ+ person with dementia
LGBTQ+: Living with dementia
Living with dementia as an LGBTQ+ person
Everyone experiences the challenges of dementia in their own individual way. Being LGBTQ+ and having dementia can bring other additional challenges. It can help to be aware of and prepared for these issues.
You may feel that lots of the information, advice and support you are offered isn’t right for you. You may have, or feel you have, different circumstances to heterosexual or cisgender people. This could be because of your experiences or living arrangements, the support you receive and who you have around you.
How dementia might affect an LGBTQ+ person
Some of the symptoms of dementia can have particular implications for LGBTQ+ people. For example, memory problems might make it harder for you to remember who you have told about your sexual orientation or gender identity.
Dementia is a progressive condition. This means that the symptoms get worse over time. As your condition progresses, you will find it harder to manage day-to-day things and you will need more help and support.
Planning ahead can help you prepare for this, and there may be specific things to think about if you are LGBTQ+. For example, this might include getting a Gender Recognition Certificate or ensuring that your partner has the ability to make decisions on your behalf.
You may also want different things from the services and support you access. For example, you may want services that are LGBTQ+ inclusive and who understand how important your gender identity and sexual orientation are to you.
It’s important to know that you aren’t alone. Support and advice are available, there are services and care settings designed to support you, and the law protects your rights to equal treatment and privacy. By knowing your rights, finding the right support, and planning for your future, it can be possible to live well with dementia.
If you’ve recently found out you have dementia, see The dementia guide: Living well after your diagnosis for more information on a range of topics.
Caring for an LGBTQ+ person with dementia?
You might find it helpful to read our pages on Supporting an LGBTQ+ person with dementia.
Your rights as an LGBTQ+ person with dementia
Many LGBTQ+ people will have experienced negative attitudes and some will have experienced hostility, rejection and abuse.
You may have had previous negative experiences with services including police and protection, or health and social care services. After a diagnosis of dementia, you may be worried about how health and social care professionals will treat you.
However, the law protects your rights and those of the people you support.
It is illegal for someone to be treated differently or be discriminated against because of their sexual orientation or gender identity.
This applies to areas like health and social care, meaning all service providers including GP surgeries and hospitals must treat you equally. In England and Wales, this law is called the Equality Act 2010.
In Northern Ireland, it is a combination of the Equality Act (Sexual Orientation) Regulations (Northern Ireland) 2006 and the Sex Discrimination (NI) Order 1976.
These laws also apply to the people close to you. It can reassure you to know that they cannot be discriminated against in relation to things like visiting rights, should you need to go into a care home or hospital.
If you are trans and choose not to disclose this, then organisations are not allowed to tell people about this under General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR).
This is because, like sexual orientation, a trans status is classed as sensitive personal data. If you have or have applied for a Gender Recognition Certificate and choose not to disclose that you are trans, then your right to privacy is also protected by the Gender Recognition Act 2004.
This applies throughout the UK. It means that someone providing care or medical services to you – for example, a doctor or care worker – cannot tell other people about your trans status without your permission. If they do, they can face criminal prosecution.
You may want to get a Gender Recognition Certificate. This legally recognises the gender you identify as, if you meet certain criteria, and gives you the legal right to be treated as a person of that gender.
It’s important to remember that you don’t need to have a Gender Recognition Certificate to have your gender identity respected by others. You also don’t need to have a Gender Recognition Certificate to be legally protected from discrimination.
It can be helpful to know that the term ‘next of kin’ has very little meaning in law. People often think it has to be a blood relative or a husband or wife, but this is not true. If a hospital or care home asks for details of next of kin to be contacted in an emergency, you can choose whoever you want.
You don’t have to be married to them – they can be a partner of any gender, a friend, or someone else you want to be contacted.
Those closest to you have the right to be consulted about your treatment and care. They don’t have to be blood relations or married partners. For example, if you are in a same-sex relationship and not married, this would apply to your partner.
Equality doesn’t necessarily mean being treated ‘the same as everyone else’. Equality means that you have the right to be who you are and express your sexual orientation, gender identity and relationships, just like anyone else.
You shouldn’t feel you have to pretend to have a different sexual orientation or gender identity in order to get the care and support you need.
Everyone should be treated and respected as an individual and encouraged to express their identity. People shouldn’t assume that your gender identity or sexual orientation is not important to you, or that it doesn’t make a difference to the care and support you need. Friends, family and professionals should support you to be the way you are.
What to do if your rights are not respected
If you feel you’ve been treated unfairly because of your sexual orientation or gender identity – for example, by a service or a professional – you may want to make a complaint.
If this happens, you should go through the following process:
- Try to resolve the complaint locally. For example, if you have a complaint about the care you have received, ask the organisation for their complaints procedure and follow the steps listed.
- If you follow this procedure and still don’t feel your complaint has been properly addressed, you can take the complaint further. The complaints procedure should explain what to do next.
- If not, you can contact the relevant Ombudsman to make a formal complaint. Which one you talk to will depend on what the complaint is about and where you live.
- If you need advice or support when making a complaint, there are lots of organisations that can help and support you through the process.
- In some cases, if you feel you need more help with the process, you might need to talk to a solicitor to get legal advice.
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The term ‘LGBTQ+’ is widely used and can mean different things. In these pages it refers to people with a range of different identities, including:
We also use the following terms:
The plus sign at the end of LGBTQ+ is to show that different people define themselves differently. Some people do not identify with any of the terms above. For example, some people identify as intersex, asexual or non-binary. We include these and other groups when we use the term LGBTQ+.