Real stories

Football is a great help for me and my parents with dementia

Initially, my dad was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2014 and was cared for by my mum. She did all the research with me and my siblings, and Alzheimer's Society’s website was a helpful reference.

Despite his diagnosis, dad was still fiercely independent, and losing his memory was hard for him.

We learnt to give him space to find the words and reassure him.

For a man who had always been so independent and bright, it was crushing for his pride. Hugs helped.

Mum's dementia

Mum’s dementia became urgently apparent when she tripped over her dog and broke her hip in the kitchen. Fortunately, my brother was there, but the ambulance took five hours to arrive, and she had to wait for an operation.

Unfortunately, due to being incapacitated for so long, it appeared mum had delirium.

The family thought it was this when she was released and started hallucinating. Mum was admitted into a dementia ward. It was all so heart-breaking for the family.

Having two parents with dementia

Both mum and dad improve when the other is struggling, coming to their aid in times of need.

Mum uses a wheelchair but has her words, so she talks for dad and helps him. Dad can still walk and loves wheeling mum around the care home they both live in.

They are quite the double act!

The care home is incredible. They have discovered that mum loves painting - we’d never seen her paint!

Lewy body dementia has left mum with clenched fists, but the care home made a special paintbrush she can hold. The care home exhibited her paintings for a week for all the family and friends to see.

Connecting through football

Our rollercoaster of emotion reached a positive peak at the World Cup in 2022.

When we connected on Facetime after the England v Iran match, their amazing carer Martha (who is just 19) warned me that Mum didn't believe I was in Qatar and was cross I hadn't visited.

So I needed to prove I was in Qatar.

I was showing mum all the 'Qatar 2022' signs in the tunnel when Raheem Sterling saw I was on a FaceTime call and jumped in.

When he saw it was a care home, he called over Kieran Trippier too, and they spoke to my parents. It meant the world to me.

My parents used to know exactly who they were. Now? They were just delighted to meet some of the people I work with.

My sisters, who carry much of our parent's care, were blown away when they heard Zoe Ball recounting the story on her BBC radio show.

Sport brings us together

Previously, my parents were farmers who would rise with the sun and wouldn't stop until News at Ten, their golden hour.

Following a football club for them wasn't an option; weekends were always the busiest on the farm. But they stopped and downed tools for England and international football - friendly or not.

For football, rugby and the Olympics, they sat down and loved it.

I can't remember another time I saw them in front of a television in the daytime - too much to do.

I find football a great help and leveller even now.

Dad can sit and watch for 90 minutes as we all do, in silence, without having to remember a name - as helpfully the players' names are right there to see on their shirts.

He experiences the goals, VAR decisions, groans and celebrations with everyone in the room - just as he always had.

The impact of sport

My considerable sadness is that mum cannot come to any of the Lionesses games now; she would love it. When I travelled as a fan to France to see the Lionesses play in the World Cup semi-final in Lyon, Mum wanted all the details.

You can imagine how wonderful they found the Women's Euro final in 2022.

Mum's smile was priceless. Dad has one word he uses, and it's "wonderful". On that day, he repeated it constantly.