‘It was our first Christmas without Mum, so I wanted to mark the occasion and support others’ - Alistair’s story

About Alistair

I’m a board director of QuestGates – the UK’s largest independently owned loss adjusting company. Having become a loss adjuster at the age of 21, I’ve held many varied roles over the years and for several years now have held responsibility for business development. I also provide board sponsorship for our charity and community activities. 

I’m married to Jasmin, Dad to Matthew (28) and Leah (25). I’m also Grandad to Isabella, Meila and Kylo. A proud man of Norfolk, I am a committed Norwich City fan and my main other interests seem to lie under/in/on/near the sea. I’ve been fortunate to travel the world scuba diving, swimming and sailing in some amazing, far flung destinations! 

My 'Advent workout' challenge 

For many years QuestGates has supported Alzheimer’s Society - arranging many golf days, cake sales and other events for our employees. We had big plans this year to stage many fundraising and awareness events, almost all of which had to be shelved due to coronavirus. 

My colleagues and I are keen to re-energise our charity activities and have some great plans for 2021, but I wanted to participate more myself. Many of us looked at new ways of exercising during lockdown and I was no exception. I couldn’t travel, play golf, or go to the gym, so I invested in a treadmill and started running for the first time.  

'The treadmill arrived around the time that we lost Mum to Alzheimer’s related causes and I found that it initially provided a bit of a release – a means of “zoning out” of the stress my family was going through at the time.'

As we approached the first Christmas without Mum, it seemed somehow apt that I took on a challenge each day to raise much needed funds for the Alzheimer’s Society – and the Advent Workout challenge was conceived.

The challenge included a 5km run, 10km run, various hiking, incline, HIIT and step challenges. Every day I woke up to a new challenge and to date we have raised over £4,000, well in excess of the £1,500 initial target! ​

​

Mum and dementia

My mother passed away on 23 July 2020, less than a month after her 74th birthday. She suffered a fall at home at the start of June and was admitted to hospital with a broken femur. From tests taken during surgery, Mum was subsequently diagnosed with incurable secondary bone cancer. Most of Mum’s final 7 weeks were spent in hospital on a cocktail of medication while suffering from numerous infections. 

While Mum was never formally diagnosed with dementia, our family knew the symptoms and had begun to discuss this with her GP prior to the fall. My father, who had been Mum’s carer for many years, was finding it increasingly difficult to provide the level of care she needed. Mum’s forgetfulness had worsened over the last 3-4 years, she became easily confused, often struggled to find the right word and increasingly displayed mood swings which were totally out of character of the person we had spent our lives with.  

Mum had always been the ultimate Mother Hen – everyone was treated as family as far as she was concerned. A meal or bed was offered to anyone who needed it and she was renowned for providing a caring, non-judgemental ear for those who needed someone to talk to. It was a long running joke in our family that I was an only child, but without the benefits! I never seemed to be alone – there was always someone staying at our house and even on Christmas Day we would invariably have a member of the pantomime cast (Mum ran a theatre for many years…) eating lunch with us! 

This was all a far cry from Mum’s final weeks. As if the cancer wasn’t enough, she had to stay in hospital without visits from her loved ones due to Covid. She regressed to an almost childlike persona – confused, scared, not knowing where she was half the time or who the people were around her. The drugs made the dementia worse to the point that she began to hallucinate and even refuse treatment as she did not trust the motive of the doctors.  

‘Mum felt she was being locked away from us when all she wanted to do was come home.’ 

Despite the lack of a formal diagnosis, Alzheimer’s was specifically listed as one of the causes of Mum’s death. This disease pays no regard to an individual’s personality, values, achievements or dignity. It can strip away the layers of strength, independence, experience and humanity which makes us all unique, leaving, certainly in my Mum’s case, only a shell. 

Insurance United Against Dementia

With the ever-increasing numbers of people living with dementia and knowing the effects it can have on families, the staff of QuestGates voted to make IUAD its chosen charity two years ago. There are few occasions when colleagues, clients, suppliers and competitors all come together for a common cause and the IUAD campaign has achieved this across the entire insurance community. 

We had already seen the good work being done by the charity and I was keen to have a closer involvement, both for personal reasons and as this seemed a good way to demonstrate the values we live by in QuestGates and push us to achieve our CSR objectives. 

In addition to a range of fundraising initiatives that are already taking shape, we are just commencing Dementia Friends training for all of our loss adjusters. Many of our internal staff are already Dementia Friends or Champions, but we felt that it is crucial that our adjusters (who visit homes and business premises in connection with insurance claims) are well equipped to understand the issues facing people living with Dementia and help make the process of submitting an insurance claim as simple and stress free as possible. We hope to have the training completed very early in 2021. 

We have big plans for 2021! In addition to the usual raffles, auctions, cake sales and the like that our teams regularly put on, there is talk of another dawn till dusk golf marathon and maybe even a sky dive being arranged to raise funds. QuestGates participated in the recent CILA Mastermind event and we will continue to support these types of insurance sector wide initiatives. 

Who knows, I may even be daft enough to take on another challenge!