Real stories

A personal approach to activities for people affected by dementia

Anne Marie Brown and her husband Terry have had a stimulating life bringing up their four children and exploring the world. 

Terry was a successful businessman, and a bright and dynamic man. When he was diagnosed with vascular dementia two years ago it came as a shock. 

‘I was stunned,’ says Anne Marie, from East Sussex. 

It was like being widowed, and I felt like the older age we thought we would have was taken away from us.

‘Normal’ things 

Other than from family, Anne Marie says they had minimal support. She found a local dementia group completely unsuitable for her and Terry. 

‘It was pretty grim. People would sit around a table shaking a rattle and you felt like you were in a nursery class,’ she says. 

‘I was finding it difficult to fill Terry’s days when I saw an ad for The Good Company People and their social clubs. 

‘We went along to one of their weekly lunches in our local pub and saw the difference straight away.

We don’t get to do “normal” things, but this felt normal.

Over the last year, the couple has been to several of the charity’s clubs. These offer everything from boardgames to golf. 

Anne Marie is also on its Lived Experience Advice Panel, which feeds back on what carers find most difficult, helping the charity meet members’ needs.

An oasis 

For Anne Marie, her biggest challenge is staying patient, but she says the charity helps her carry on. 

‘You can’t do this alone,’ she says, ‘but the charity gives you a safe space where you can talk to people who understand and who you trust.’ 

Tom Shaw has been coming to socials for the last two years with his wife Liz, who has Alzheimer’s. 

‘This organisation is an oasis for me in a desert of stress and loneliness,’ he says. ‘It is hard because our children live far away. 

But when I come here, I can have intelligent conversations with people in the same situation and feel part of a community.

Tom adds that, as well as providing good company, the charity has helped point him in the right direction for advice and support. 

Liz says, ‘The lunches are always really busy and, although I don’t know everybody’s names, it is nice seeing people and it is good to get away from the four walls.’

Listening to people 

Former TV producer Lucy Buck founded The Good Company People with her wife Delia Pop. 

Lucy’s mother Hazel was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease dementia and couldn’t find groups that met in familiar settings like pubs and clubs. 

‘Mum wanted to continue to do the things she loved in the places where she felt most comfortable with people she liked,’ says Lucy. 

I thought there was a gap between statutory services and the voluntary sector, and a need for a personalised service which listened to people to help them lead the life they want to for as long as possible.

As well as running clubs, the charity is trialling a pop-up information hub in a pharmacy to reach people experiencing cognitive changes earlier. 

It also runs a telephone ‘concierge’ service. This offers dementia advice and it connects people in similar situations. 

Members’ needs 

The Good Company People does not describe itself as a dementia charity. Their social clubs are open to anyone over 65 who needs ‘good company’, so there is a variety of people at its events. 

Co-founder Felicity Streatfeild says they’re guided by what members need and want. 

‘We want members to keep doing the hobbies they enjoy in familiar places like pubs, cafes or sports clubs,’ she says. 

‘We start with a discovery session where we get to know what makes people tick, so we can develop a service around them. 

There are lots of studies into what can delay dementia and improve people’s quality of life, but social engagement brings the most benefits and gives people belonging and a sense of purpose.

Heather Stephen has written for Dementia together magazine many times in the past, and she started volunteering with The Good Company People a year ago. She now also has a paid role writing blogs for them.