Real stories

My dementia doesn't stop my family and me from enjoying cricket

A passion for cricket

I’ve loved cricket since I was a boy. I love England cricket, and love watching the Tests. But I was born and bred in Kent, and Kent cricket is my main love. I always watch for Kent’s results. Always supported Kent and England cricket teams, but Kent comes first.

Cherished cricket memories

I played cricket at school, loved it but wasn’t that good at it - I was always out too early.

I do remember one highlight though, when I opened the inning and carried the bat right the way through to not out with 30 runs.

That was when I was playing for Winchester prison service, I was about 25. 

My home ground was Canterbury home ground. I used to go as a boy with my cousin Alf, I was about 11/12 and his was about 10/9.

I remember watching Hampshire and Middlesex play against Kent. Middlesex was the glamour team with Denis Compton Bill Edrich.

The local band, The Buffs, from the East Kent regiment played there every year for years. And it’s the only country that had a tree inside a boundary. It fell down recently but they planted another one. It only warranted a 4 no matter how far it went up the tree.

When it comes to England cricket, my favourites were Colin Cowdry and Peter May. I loved watching their partnership – I used to listen to it on the radio. 

Passing on my love of cricket

My youngest daughter Becky has loved cricket since she was a child. We used to watch our local team, St. Cross play and she had her own baby cricket bat and ball.

Then when she got older, she became a member of Hampshire Cricket club and regularly watched them play at the Rose Bowl, as well as trips to Lords and the Oval to watch test matches.

I remember Becky calling me from the Oval when England won against Australia in the 2005 Ashes. She was crying, saying it was like me getting to watch the 1966 World Cup.

She took me to watch Kent play Hampshire at the Rose bowl back in 2018. Kent won with one run, Hampshire had to get one run off the last ball.

That was the last time, I haven’t been to a live cricket game since.

I would love to see one final major live cricket game.

My six grandsons all love cricket too. There are three Kent fans, and the other three are Hampshire fans. One of the Hampshire fans, George, plays for our local village team, so sometimes I manage to get up there and watch him.

A difficult time

I’ve been through so much in the last few years. I recovered from bowel cancer, only to get prostate cancer, and now terminal cancer – I’ve also had several heart issues and strokes.

Then we suddenly lost our eldest daughter in her sleep. She died from cardiac arrhythmia in her sleep at age 56 with no warning that anything was wrong.

This turned all our lives upside down. Then I clinically died from cardiac arrhythmia almost a year later. Luckily, I was on Bournemouth beach and the RNLI lifeguards brought me back to life after 25mins.

Then several strokes later, I got diagnosed with vascular dementia - and everything went downhill quickly.

The impact of dementia on me

Dementia has completely affected me. I’ve drawn into a shell. Everything feels too much trouble for me. I feel frustrated, agitated, and anxious. I worry about everything, especially things I can’t fix. It stops me from sleeping.

My mobility has got so much worse, and I can’t drive, I can’t walk without my walker, and then not very far, I can’t take myself to toilet, get dressed, shower or put myself to bed.

Now, I have to rely on everyone else for everything. I can’t do anything myself.

Grateful for my family

I feel guilty that my wife does everything. She’s been so marvellous looking after me. As have my two daughters.

I’m so lucky to have them. And the silver lining is that I’ve been able to spend more time with my daughters, as they’ve been helping with wife look after me.

We’re very lucky to get support with some care to help get me washed and dressed in the mornings, and put me to bed, but my wife needs more support on a daily basis. She can’t leave me alone.

I find it hard to get out and socialise, but even if people come to see me, I still find it hard.

I can’t concentrate so well anymore and I’m almost deaf in both ears. I really struggle to socialise and have conversation; I can’t converse the same. I’m especially worried about being in company of people I don’t know.

And I’m embarrassed to think I’ve got dementia, and that other people would find out.

Reflecting on my dementia

When I look towards the future, I don’t feel I have one. But the love of my family keeps me going. And it’s been so special to live long enough to see my first great grandchild, who looks just like our daughter that we lost.

#CricketShouldBeUnforgettable

Alzheimer’s Society believes that certain cricket moments should be unforgettable. Sadly, for many people living with dementia, they will lose the precious memories they have collected over a lifetime.

You can help us make sure every cricket fan or player gets the life-changing support they deserve.

Text TEN, TWENTY or THIRTY to 70520 to donate £10, £20 or £30.