Dementia Support Line
Cricket helps my husband with dementia feel more like himself
Penny knew that her husband, Paul, when he wasn't acting like his usual self. Now that Paul has been diagnosed with dementia, Penny describes how cricket helps to keep Paul engaged, and 'like his old self'.
Paul and I have been married for 35 years.
Paul trained as a mechanic, but later he worked for a Catering Company with British Airways at Gatwick. I work in an additional needs school in Horsham, so we’ve been kept busy in our working lives.
Mistaking symptoms for something else
We've experienced a lot of hardship in our family, including the loss of our son, Darren. Paul also lost his brother and both parents in a short space of time.
This was when I first noticed something wasn’t quite right with Paul.
Because of the circumstances, I initially wrote off the symptoms as possible depression. But it wasn’t just Paul’s mood, but his demeanour.
Paul had always been a ‘happy go lucky’ guy, but around this time, his temper was very different.
He was usually placid and relaxed – his behaviour wasn’t like him at all.
It was like seeing two different people.
It wasn’t just me that noticed these changes.
The first signs for Penny (left) were that her husband Paul (right) wasn't acting like his usual self.
Family and friends would point out Paul’s unusual behaviour. We saw that he wasn’t participating or keeping up with conversations like he used to. He would listen but couldn’t really respond.
Cricket should be unforgettable
Day three of the Fifth Men’s Test on the 29 July will be dedicated to Alzheimer’s Society for the first time.
The tipping point for needing a diagnosis
This all came to a head about seven or eight years ago, where we realised that we needed to do something.
We went to the doctors, where we were referred for a brain scan at Brighton University due to Paul’s symptoms.
At this point, Paul was beginning to sleep more. He didn’t want to get out of bed.
Eventually, he was given the diagnosis of Frontotemporal dementia and the doctor gave us a follow up appointment for six months after.
My daughter, Megan, and I were not happy. We felt like we had been left alone to figure out our next steps.
One positive was that on the same day Paul was diagnosed, we went to a dementia support group near us in Horsham that was run by Alzheimer’s Society. The people there were really helpful.
Coping with dementia
Paul’s condition has since progressed, and he’s been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s as well as Frontotemporal dementia.
He also has a heart condition where the left side of his heart only works at 25%, and he’s fallen over a few times.
Following Paul’s diagnoses, we didn’t get the support we expected from our friends. They stopped inviting us to events, and over time we spoke less and less.
But we refuse to let dementia define us.
We still feel like getting the diagnosis was the best thing to do. It was a relief to know what was wrong.
How cricket helps
One thing that hasn’t changed about Paul is his love of cricket.
He volunteers at our local cricket club, which is good for both of us, as it gives me a bit of respite. At the club, he sets the wickets and helps tidy up around the grounds.
The people there really look after him. They help him take his tablets, and make sure he eats, drinks and socialises.
Because he’s engaged with things, people at the club didn’t even realise Paul had dementia.
It's like he’s his old self again.
Watching cricket on the TV also helps to keep him engaged, as he’s able to have more than one conversation at once.
#CricketShouldBeUnforgettable
Great cricket should be unforgettable. But for thousands of people living with dementia, sadly this isn’t the case.
By donating to Alzheimer’s Society, you will be making a huge difference to the lives of people living with dementia, funding life-changing support and pioneering research.
Peter Powell
says