Remembering Penny Bates who died on February 13 th 2026
She was a dear friend and many years a member of the WI - much missed for her generosity , love if life and a...
My husband was diagnosed with mixed type dementia about 8 years ago and died in a care home 2 years ago. I managed to keep him at home for 6 years. I can remember...
My name is Ben, I was diagnosed with Alzheimer's dementia roughly 18 months ago, I was 45 when I got the diagnosis.
I just wanted to go on record as thanking ADSS...
My wife Penny was a fun loving 67 year old beauty who...
My unbelievable Dad passed away. It would have been a...
My mum, Mavis, was a strong, intelligent, funny and...
My mum had Alzheimer’s for 11 years, where we lost...
We recently lost our beautiful mam Pat, to this cruel...
My friend Angus is a lifelong Chelsea Supporter. In December ‘24, he became too ill to go to matches and use his season ticket. He refused all monies we raised by...
My wife Elaine passed on mothers day after a very short battle with vascular dementia diagnosed October 2025 i had her at home apart for a couple of hospital stays for...
June 2025 came with a quiet kind of sorrow that...
My husband Les had vascular dementia he ended up in a...
Remembering Penny Bates who died on February 13 th 2026
She was a dear friend and many years a member of the WI - much missed for her generosity , love if life and a ready smile. RIPX
She was a dear friend and many years a member of the WI - much missed for her generosity , love if life and a ready smile. RIPX
Judy Gillespie
My husband was diagnosed with mixed type dementia about 8 years ago and died in a care home 2 years ago. I managed to keep him at home for 6 years. I can remember telling my GP that there were 26 hours in my day, she gave me a strange look and I said no I had not made a mistake someone had definitely added a couple on for me. Difficult times, I've found myself again. It took a little while but I'm there. Will keep supporting Alzheimer's Research Society as both my daughter and myself think this is the way forward.
Maureen
My name is Ben, I was diagnosed with Alzheimer's dementia roughly 18 months ago, I was 45 when I got the diagnosis.
I just wanted to go on record as thanking ADSS who are a group of wonderful commited professionals who have helped me immeasurably in dealing with my diagnosis.
I have made my peace with what will happen further down the line.
However my message is that I live my life to the full as everyone else would.
I live a positive life.
Ben
I just wanted to go on record as thanking ADSS who are a group of wonderful commited professionals who have helped me immeasurably in dealing with my diagnosis.
I have made my peace with what will happen further down the line.
However my message is that I live my life to the full as everyone else would.
I live a positive life.
Ben
Ben
My wife Penny was a fun loving 67 year old beauty who loved going on holidays, which we did 5-6 times a year. COVID came and when the second vaccination was done she had the Astra Zeneca one, I had Pfizer. 4 days after this I found her screaming on the floor in our kitchen, holding her head. I called the ambulance and she went into hospital for a day. When she came home she was a different person. she didnt know how to turn the cooker on, and this progressed to other things like where she had put things. after attacking me twice we decided a placing in Uckfield hospital ( a specialist unit )was best. now three years later in a care home in Eastbourne she is happy to see me twice a week. I miss her so much.
Stephen Burgess
My unbelievable Dad passed away. It would have been a different passing had he not had dementia . We would have sat,laughed and said things to each other when we knew the time was coming .That was robbed from me by this cruel disease. My heart goes out to all of you going through what I went through. Bless you and keep strong
NB
I always go in the garden in the morning to have my coffee and look up at the sky and talk to him. NEVER LET THEM BE FORGOTTEN XXXX
NB
I always go in the garden in the morning to have my coffee and look up at the sky and talk to him. NEVER LET THEM BE FORGOTTEN XXXX
Victoria
My mum, Mavis, was a strong, intelligent, funny and fierce lady – always full of life, always making things (food, knitting) or busy reading, or doing crosswords or sudoku.
She was diagnosed just before COVID hit, but in reality, she had been struggling for much longer. We as a family had all seen it, but she refused to acknowledge it and masked very effectively when she was in company. Her reality when she was alone, was that she had started drinking to cope with feeling so terrible and her life was in chaos. I felt (and still feel) a tremendous weight of guilt, that I didn’t force the issue and get her help at an earlier stage.
After her diagnosis, she managed at home with support for a few years, but with each passing day, a little more of the light inside her left. She stopped doing things for herself, stopped all the things she loved. Her conversations became one word answers in response to questions, and eventually she began to forget that she’d lost loved ones (my dad, my nan) and would become distressed, wanting to leave to find them.
2 years ago, I was forced to make the decision to move her into care. The first 6 months were unbearable. Her home had been her whole life; leaving that took a major toll on her and she deteriorated significantly. I blamed myself for putting her in that position and for the way she felt.
She is more settled now but that period left its mark on both of us. A lot more of her disappeared – her fight, her soul. I have had to learn that although she will always be my mum, every time I see her she will be a little bit of a changed version of my mum from the last time I was there. She still remembers me (for now – although sometimes she thinks I’m her sister), but I know there will come a day when that is gone too, along with all of her memories of our life together. I will have to hold on to them for the both of us.
She was diagnosed just before COVID hit, but in reality, she had been struggling for much longer. We as a family had all seen it, but she refused to acknowledge it and masked very effectively when she was in company. Her reality when she was alone, was that she had started drinking to cope with feeling so terrible and her life was in chaos. I felt (and still feel) a tremendous weight of guilt, that I didn’t force the issue and get her help at an earlier stage.
After her diagnosis, she managed at home with support for a few years, but with each passing day, a little more of the light inside her left. She stopped doing things for herself, stopped all the things she loved. Her conversations became one word answers in response to questions, and eventually she began to forget that she’d lost loved ones (my dad, my nan) and would become distressed, wanting to leave to find them.
2 years ago, I was forced to make the decision to move her into care. The first 6 months were unbearable. Her home had been her whole life; leaving that took a major toll on her and she deteriorated significantly. I blamed myself for putting her in that position and for the way she felt.
She is more settled now but that period left its mark on both of us. A lot more of her disappeared – her fight, her soul. I have had to learn that although she will always be my mum, every time I see her she will be a little bit of a changed version of my mum from the last time I was there. She still remembers me (for now – although sometimes she thinks I’m her sister), but I know there will come a day when that is gone too, along with all of her memories of our life together. I will have to hold on to them for the both of us.
Jo
My mum had Alzheimer’s for 11 years, where we lost a bit more of her each day.
It is such a cruel disease and she really didn’t deserve this after everything she went through.
She lost her mum at two years and had three siblings and even though she wasn’t the oldest she took it upon herself to have days off school at 8 yrs old to do the washing and care for all her siblings, by cooking cleaning and everything else that was required.
They constantly got put into care but used to escape and run back to their dad.
When she married ,her two brothers moved in with her as her dad died had just died at 52!
She then went on to have three children
So there was 7 of them in small three bedroom terraced home.
Mum juggled three jobs aswell, we were always fed, clean, our house was absolutely spotless.
I remember her telling me that they had to share one pair of shoes .
Mum was very strict (she was quite scary) and extremely houseproud every day the house was cleaned even though she was also riddled with arthritis.
We all had to help.
It was heartbreaking to watch her suffer and for me to loose her, she was unrecognisable from the proud well turned out lady that I knew and loved.
Watching her starve to death, my sister and i had two weeks with her sleeping at Richmond care home where without exception the staff were truly incredible, they loved Sylvie and her warped sense of humour.
Unfortunately she passed the day before Mother’s Day when I wasn’t in the room for which I will always be sad, but as the Carer said she was a difficult woman and would never have passed with you there ,.
when she phoned me on Mother’s Day to say about mum passing she said Mum had given a smile then took her last breathe.
I am now doing the Alzheimer’s 31 mile walk in May and want to raise £250 (hopefully I will smash this target !)
It will be hard as I suffer terribly with osteoarthritis but unlike mum I moan constantly with the chronic illness.
So I have my deep heat ,knee straps,
Water, comfy shoes, my doggo and co codomol.
WISH ME LUCK 🍀
It is such a cruel disease and she really didn’t deserve this after everything she went through.
She lost her mum at two years and had three siblings and even though she wasn’t the oldest she took it upon herself to have days off school at 8 yrs old to do the washing and care for all her siblings, by cooking cleaning and everything else that was required.
They constantly got put into care but used to escape and run back to their dad.
When she married ,her two brothers moved in with her as her dad died had just died at 52!
She then went on to have three children
So there was 7 of them in small three bedroom terraced home.
Mum juggled three jobs aswell, we were always fed, clean, our house was absolutely spotless.
I remember her telling me that they had to share one pair of shoes .
Mum was very strict (she was quite scary) and extremely houseproud every day the house was cleaned even though she was also riddled with arthritis.
We all had to help.
It was heartbreaking to watch her suffer and for me to loose her, she was unrecognisable from the proud well turned out lady that I knew and loved.
Watching her starve to death, my sister and i had two weeks with her sleeping at Richmond care home where without exception the staff were truly incredible, they loved Sylvie and her warped sense of humour.
Unfortunately she passed the day before Mother’s Day when I wasn’t in the room for which I will always be sad, but as the Carer said she was a difficult woman and would never have passed with you there ,.
when she phoned me on Mother’s Day to say about mum passing she said Mum had given a smile then took her last breathe.
I am now doing the Alzheimer’s 31 mile walk in May and want to raise £250 (hopefully I will smash this target !)
It will be hard as I suffer terribly with osteoarthritis but unlike mum I moan constantly with the chronic illness.
So I have my deep heat ,knee straps,
Water, comfy shoes, my doggo and co codomol.
WISH ME LUCK 🍀
Tracey
We recently lost our beautiful mam Pat, to this cruel disease, but we refuse to allow it to define who she really was.
Mam was a beautiful baker and cook, she was the kindest soul and a lifelong supporter of the Donkey Sanctuary....we took her to visit her beloved donkeys!
She loved days out and going for coffee and cake, dancing around the kitchen to her favourite music and adored Christmas.
We managed to enjoy all of those things with her until the very end.
She is the centre of our family, the essence of love and peace and leaves a legacy of unconditional love.
We will miss her forevermore ❤️ xxxx
Mam was a beautiful baker and cook, she was the kindest soul and a lifelong supporter of the Donkey Sanctuary....we took her to visit her beloved donkeys!
She loved days out and going for coffee and cake, dancing around the kitchen to her favourite music and adored Christmas.
We managed to enjoy all of those things with her until the very end.
She is the centre of our family, the essence of love and peace and leaves a legacy of unconditional love.
We will miss her forevermore ❤️ xxxx
Lisa
My friend Angus is a lifelong Chelsea Supporter. In December ‘24, he became too ill to go to matches and use his season ticket. He refused all monies we raised by selling his tickets to other club members and donated all to the charity. Thank you Angus!
Richard
My wife Elaine passed on mothers day after a very short battle with vascular dementia diagnosed October 2025 i had her at home apart for a couple of hospital stays for infections.we were married 47 years I never realised how hard the loss would be if it wasn't for my close family and grandchildren I would not be here now.also fantastic support from St Michael’s Hospice l.once I have found myself again I will do whatever I can to support Alzheimers society we need to find a cure for this horrible disease. Once my forget me not arrives I will wear it as a salute to my lovely wife I will never forget her.
Mark
June 2025 came with a quiet kind of sorrow that settled into the spaces we didn’t know how to fill.
My mother-in-law had been living with Alzheimer’s for some time, and little by little, we had already begun to lose pieces of her long before she passed. Memories faded like old photographs left too long in the sun. Conversations grew shorter, names slipped away, and the vibrant woman she once was seemed to drift just out of reach. Still, there were moments—small, fleeting ones—where her smile would return, or her eyes would light up with recognition, and we held onto those as tightly as we could.
When she passed in June, it felt both sudden and expected, like the final page of a story we had been reading for years but were never truly ready to finish. There was sadness, of course, but also a quiet sense of peace. The illness that had slowly taken so much from her no longer could.
But just as we were learning how to carry that loss, another chapter began.
In January 2026, my husband, Chris—her son—was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.
The words felt heavy in a way that’s hard to describe. We had already walked this path once. We knew the turns it could take, the quiet changes, the difficult days, and the strength it demands. And yet, knowing doesn’t make it easier. If anything, it makes the road ahead feel even more real.
This time, though, we walk it together in a different way. As a family, we carry not only the weight of what’s to come, but also the knowledge, love, and resilience we built along the way with his mum. We understand the importance of patience, of kindness, of holding onto the moments that matter.
We also know we are not alone.
There are people—kind, compassionate people—who have supported us, guided us, and stood beside us through the hardest days. Words never quite feel like enough to express what that means to us.
So we say thank you in the way we can.
As a family, we will wear our Alzheimer’s “Forget Me Not” badges—not just as a symbol of the illness, but as a sign of gratitude. A quiet message to those who have helped us, and to those who continue to walk alongside us.
This journey is not one we would have chosen. But it is one we will face together, with love, with courage, and with the memory of all that has come before
My mother-in-law had been living with Alzheimer’s for some time, and little by little, we had already begun to lose pieces of her long before she passed. Memories faded like old photographs left too long in the sun. Conversations grew shorter, names slipped away, and the vibrant woman she once was seemed to drift just out of reach. Still, there were moments—small, fleeting ones—where her smile would return, or her eyes would light up with recognition, and we held onto those as tightly as we could.
When she passed in June, it felt both sudden and expected, like the final page of a story we had been reading for years but were never truly ready to finish. There was sadness, of course, but also a quiet sense of peace. The illness that had slowly taken so much from her no longer could.
But just as we were learning how to carry that loss, another chapter began.
In January 2026, my husband, Chris—her son—was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.
The words felt heavy in a way that’s hard to describe. We had already walked this path once. We knew the turns it could take, the quiet changes, the difficult days, and the strength it demands. And yet, knowing doesn’t make it easier. If anything, it makes the road ahead feel even more real.
This time, though, we walk it together in a different way. As a family, we carry not only the weight of what’s to come, but also the knowledge, love, and resilience we built along the way with his mum. We understand the importance of patience, of kindness, of holding onto the moments that matter.
We also know we are not alone.
There are people—kind, compassionate people—who have supported us, guided us, and stood beside us through the hardest days. Words never quite feel like enough to express what that means to us.
So we say thank you in the way we can.
As a family, we will wear our Alzheimer’s “Forget Me Not” badges—not just as a symbol of the illness, but as a sign of gratitude. A quiet message to those who have helped us, and to those who continue to walk alongside us.
This journey is not one we would have chosen. But it is one we will face together, with love, with courage, and with the memory of all that has come before
Sarah
My husband Les had vascular dementia he ended up in a care home for about 6 weeks he died in 2015
I helped in a day centre for about three years it was a life saver for me he attended 2 days a week
I helped in a day centre for about three years it was a life saver for me he attended 2 days a week
Patricia
Share your story
However you’ve been affected by dementia, this is a place for you to share your Forget Me Not story with other people who get it.