Advice

Keeping the promise I made to my wife to raise the visibility of dementia

When my wife Diane died in 2022, I couldn’t see a life without her, to be honest. But I had to keep my promise to her. 

I told Diane that when she was gone, I would do everything in my power to raise awareness and encourage people to educate themselves about dementia. 

It’s the UK’s leading cause of death, there needs to be greater visibility – that’s my ultimate aim.

Expressing myself 

I’ve always put my opinion across passionately and made sure that people know how I feel about things. But campaigning is not something I’d done before. I’d describe myself as an activist now though. 

My first experience of trying to influence politicians was a meeting of MLAs at Stormont. 

Following this, I was invited to speak at a DUP (Democratic Unionist Party) breakfast event during their autumn 2024 party conference. 

I didn’t hesitate to say yes. The thought of public speaking doesn’t faze me – it’s something I’ve frequently done during my career. 

Martin, National Influencing Officer at the Society, gave me a few bullet points. But I’d already made my mind up about what I was going to say, so it didn’t take me long to prepare. 

Privileged position 

There were important people there, including Jim Shannon, MP for Strangford. But I didn’t feel nervous before I spoke – I felt very privileged to be there. 

I spoke about Diane, my experience as a carer and the need for early diagnosis and support. About how there’s a blasé attitude towards dementia, despite it being such a cruel disease. 

People think it’s just an older person’s condition but it’s not, more people under the age of 65 are being diagnosed. 

I don’t want to be an alarmist, don’t get me wrong, but people need to wake up and realise what’s going on. 

Thinking ahead 

Quite a few people came up to speak to me after the event and said they’d enjoyed listening to me. I felt very encouraged. 

I’m looking at different avenues to get more involved in campaigning. I am excited about what I can do next. I’ve considered becoming a Dementia Adviser. Anything Alzheimer’s Society wants me to do, I’m there, that’s how strongly I feel about it. 

I’d encourage anyone affected by dementia to speak out. There are lots of ways to be involved, like signing petitions, writing to local politicians and supporting events. 

The more people out there shouting the odds, the more other people are going to have to listen.