Jitendra Gupta

It’s important to have people around you after a dementia diagnosis

Jitendra in Bradford is grateful for the support he’s had since his dementia diagnosis – from professionals, family and friends.

At 63, when many are beginning to think about retirement, Jitendra Gupta, from Bradford, was at college finishing a law degree.

His goal was to become a solicitor, to work with those who couldn’t afford expensive legal services.

Jitendra, now 77, was born and brought up in Uttar Pradesh, India. He gained his caring focus from his parents while he was growing up.

My attitude to life is to help people in any manner I can. Not for the sake of money, but just to help them.

But before he could progress with his career plan, he was stopped in his tracks. 

Jitendra Gupta

Sudden loss

First, Jitendra suffered a huge bereavement – the sudden loss of his beloved sister, Dr Urmila Gupta. He proudly explains that
she was well known in Bradford as the city’s first Asian female GP.

Then came the realisation that he was developing memory problems. ‘If I was trying to make a phone call, by the time I went to the telephone I had forgotten what I was doing there.

‘This might sound minor, but the problems were getting worse and worse.

‘Thanks to my sister, I knew that the sooner you are diagnosed the better. She would always encourage her patients to come into the surgery as soon as possible.

The first thing I did was discuss this with my family.

Jitendra’s family work in healthcare – his son is a consultant ophthalmologist, his daughter is an optometrist and his wife is a secretary in a GP surgery.

‘I knew I wanted to talk to them all. First of all, they said it might be the ageing process. I said, “No.”

‘My GP, too, suggested the changes were to do with ageing. He did an initial memory test, asking basic questions, and I found myself struggling, but he said, “Relax and everything should be fine.”

‘I knew I wasn’t happy, so I went back to the GP and said it didn’t feel like an ageing problem to me and my family.’

‘You are right’

Jitendra was referred to a consultant psychiatrist, who did some basic examinations and referred him for MRI and CT scans.

‘When the results finally came back, she told me, “You are right.” She diagnosed dementia. She said the scans had revealed a problem with my brain, and prescribed medication.

‘When I heard that I had dementia, it was a shock even though I knew something was wrong. I thought my life was finished and that everything good had finished.’

His GP and consultant referred him to Alzheimer’s Society.

I was thinking, “What is Alzheimer’s? What is going on?” I had a lot of questions.

‘Then Judith from Alzheimer’s Society came to see me at my home. She was courteous and helpful. She helped me understand that I had nothing to worry about.

‘I was still focused on the loss of memory and forgetting things, but the good news was that because of the medication the doctor was giving me, I was getting on all right.’

 

Constant support

While the doctors worked to correct the levels of medication, Judith was a constant support.

‘She told me about local groups where I could meet other people in similar situations, going through the same problems. I went to these every two weeks, and I found out I wasn’t the only one.

‘There were lots of other people with memory problems, some worse than me, some of them were younger than me. 

This helped me see I wasn’t alone.

‘I thank Judith and other members of Alzheimer’s Society staff so much. I feel I am recovering from my situation and feel much better.

‘When there was a meeting, they always invited me. During lockdown, the meetings were on Zoom. Sometimes I didn’t remember them and so Judith rang me to ask me if I was all right, did I need anything.’

Having confidence

Jitendra recognises that getting help from people outside your usual networks can sometimes feel more straightforward.

‘I have found when people outside my family support me, this gives me a lot of confidence. Without this I would have been completely lost.

They support me and look after me with respect and not like I’m suffering with something.

Attending an Alzheimer’s Society conference in London in July 2023 gave Jitendra another opportunity to meet people in a similar situation.

‘I noticed many were suffering worse than me, and I thank God that I am doing as well as I am.

‘Having this confidence is so important. Without it, you can’t move on in your life. I know that with the help of other people I can move further, and I can help others.’

Jitendra Gupta

Positive message

Jitendra is keen to send a positive message to others in Asian communities who are frightened they may have dementia.

‘I know there are a lot of people in Asian society who are suffering with this, but they don’t want to come forward. They don’t want to go to the doctor and explain what the problem is, especially the women but even the men.

‘They think if they are diagnosed with this problem, there will be a stigma that in their family this person is suffering from memory loss. 

They worry they can be stereotyped and not taken seriously or discarded from the family.

‘I want to speak on Asian radio stations and television in our region, to pass on what I know – that it gives you confidence to talk about what your problem is and what your difficulties are. Sharing this is how you get help.

‘Alzheimer’s Society staff are trained in these situations for this kind of work. They can give us all confidence.’

Different culture

Nearly 50 years ago, Jitendra’s sister had invited him to stay with her in the UK.

‘She wasn’t married, she was alone, so I was a great help to her,’ he remembers.

‘I really enjoyed living in the UK. I enjoyed meeting people. I was in a different culture altogether, and it was so friendly.

‘Initially I was on a student visa, so it was difficult to settle down, but my sister was resourceful.

‘Eventually I was able to bring my wife Chandresh and my six-year-old son to live with me, and we had our daughter a few years later.’

Jitendra built a career as a business advisor. He then turned his attention to law, taking his law degree at Bradford College, in collaboration with Leeds Metropolitan University, in 2010.

I have a lot of interest in the legal side, and I know there are so many people who are not getting the justice they deserve because they can’t afford it.

‘I have worked as an interpreter for solicitors, the police and courts all over England. I spent a lot of time travelling, meeting all sorts of people from different parts of society.

‘I didn’t feel satisfied when I saw that people were struggling when they had been arrested because they couldn’t afford proper help. Many solicitors are too expensive for the ordinary man.’

Helping others

At the age of 77, Jitendra has not given up his dream.

‘I passed my LLB degree, but I am looking for a solicitors’ practice locally to support me with the rest of my LPC training. If I can complete this, I would like to give people free advice and court representation. It would be a privilege to help them.

Helping others is my desire from within.

‘My mum was a religious lady and a housewife, and my father was a Director of Education – a very high post in the government of India.

‘He always wanted to help others, poor people, less privileged children. He adopted a child from a poor family and said, “We can help someone who has never been to school.”’

Good environment

With help, Jitendra has turned his life around.

‘When I first heard what was wrong with me, I thought, “I’m just at the last stage of life,” but when I met Judith, that changed. She gave me so much encouragement.

‘She was the first person I spoke to from Alzheimer’s Society. Her words, her attitude and her approach to this have been very, very important. I’m still grateful and thankful to her.

‘Finding out you have dementia is difficult news,’ he says, ‘but what’s important is who you have in the background supporting you – your family and friends, the medical support and the people in Alzheimer’s Society.

With a good environment, everyone will be as positive as me.

How can you help?

Your donation helps us to support more people like Jitendra to remain as independent as possible.

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Dementia together magazine

Dementia together magazine is for all Alzheimer’s Society supporters and anyone affected by the condition.
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Dementia together magazine is for all Alzheimer’s Society supporters and anyone affected by the condition.
Subscribe now

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I have just found out that I am in the early stages of Alsymez, which I can’ t properly spell right now as a write this now
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