The tipping point for my wife needing a diagnosis of dementia

My husband was just diagnosed with dementia last month. He is 63. I think he is probably in the middle part of his dementia. He changed about 4-5 years ago and has gotten worse in the last year. He asks repetiive questions constantly. He used to cook every morning and he cant cook anymore, cant use the coffee pot. He cant follow the simplest of directions to do chores , loses stuff constantly, easily frustrated, paranoid, thinks he has been in a place before and never has. He failed his driving test today and is very angry. He failed all 5 parts of the test but nothing is never his fault. I dread the progression of this disease. It is so sad. We got to retirement age and we wont be enjoying it at all.

My husband is 63 and just got diagnosed with dementia. His problems started really in 2017 when he wasnt able to do computer work or paperwork of any kind without severe anxiety and he was doing this type of work for years. He took a job at a small prison but he was still having problems. Our dr did a mri which showed some vascular changes but nothing major and he also saw a neuro psych NP who diagnosed him with depression and anxiety. He was started on Zoloft but over the last few years , especially the last year he asks the same questions over and over and i had to take his meds away because he would take multiple days of meds. If we had an appointment for anything he would get dressed every day and think it was time to go when it wasnt. I finally got him in to see a neurologist last month and he looked at his mri and said he had brain atrophy on the 2019 mri. He also failed the test that was done by the neurologist. He scored 16 out of 30. The neurologist told him he didnt need to drive and today we went to a rehab center and he had a simulated and actual driving test done and failed all 5 parts of that. He is angry and has been for the last month. He thinks I am trying to put him in a psych unit and trying to take all his stuff. We have been married 42 years and I have always been a good and faithful wife. I work nights as a RN and I can see that changing soon We have a handicapped daughter who lives with us. She is WC bound but is capable of watching him. I am so sad for him, he is confused at times, gets situations all confused at times and always thinks he has been places that we never have been before. I guess he is probably at the middle part of his dementia and I really dread the horrible progress of the disease. He has so much anger now, I just hope that part doesnt get worse. I understand he is losing his independence but really he seldom goes anywhere anymore.

My husband is probably in mid level dementia and being cared for at a nursing home. I visit often. He is becoming aggressive and seems to only have 1 wish, that is to come HOME. I could not care for him at this point. Am eaten up with guilt because I so wish he could be home and sympathize with his feeling like he is discarded..

Hi my husband is 67 he was having issues with his memory for about seven yrs was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment has been now diagnosed with Alzheimer’s my husband is quite good for a few days then has what I call emotional melt downs can’t reason with him at all keeps on saying I’m just nasty person which hurts he is nice as pie to everyone else I’m beginning to resent him at times we have been married for 49 yrs it’s hard for me ti see a person that looks normal but is not I know it must be very scary and frightening for him but it is for me I feel so helpless knowing I can’t do anything to make it better I’m a ex nurse and I feel very frustrated and angry feel very much alone

I think the thing I mind most is what Alzheimers has done to our relationship before my husband was diagnosed. Had I known the changes in his behaviour were probably due to the disease rather than what seemed a wilful lack of care, I wouldn't have been so hurt. Now I face years of caring for someone I've come to resent. Of course now I understand it is easier, but I mourn the loss with all my heart.

I was diagnosed about a year ago with Dementia. its very hard for my husband of 55 years to understand why I can't do a lot things I used to do. Household chores are difficult
I use the internet a lot to keep up with the world and stay in touch with family 800 miles away
I have a lot of trouble focusing and my memory is getting worse. I will be 75 in two weeks and this is hard to believe why this happened

Hi Friends,
I’m Alan Thornton (69 years old) and was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in the last few months. I’d known I had “mild cognitive decline” for over a year so it wasn’t too much of a surprise but I’d been hoping that my issue would be manageable over a longer time. I closed my business and retired thinking I’d make the best of things that way and also that I’d be fair to my former clients by not continuing in a reduced capacity.

I’m in the Atlanta, GA USA area and live with my Wife and grown Son who has moved in to help out.

The disease is more noticeable than it was when I was diagnosed a few months ago. Memory issues are increasing. I’d been a jogger for many years but now I’m a bit unsteady on my feet even walking.

I’m frightened by the prospect of further decline in cognition and usefulness. Perhaps some of you can understand that. It’s still sort of a shock.

Anyway, very best wishes to each of you and thanks for this space and for your companionship. Best regards, Alan

I have just been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and it came as an enormous shock. My Husband, Daughter, Son and rest of family have been very supportive and I know they will gather around me. As for myself I wrote a ‘Mission Statement on a Wipe board and it hangs on the wall in our bedroom. I read it every day to stay positive and gradually I am accepting of what it will do to me. I have no other option, it will change me more and more and there is nothing that I could do which can change that. So rather than wallow in self pity I mean to live the rest of my life filing away the diagnosis and make the most of what I have now and will deal with the elephant in the room when I have to . To those of you who are in the same situation have you come up with anything that helps keep you going? As a ‘ newbie ‘ I have no idea as to how long it will take to change me but it will happen and I am scared. Positive feedback only if possible. I look forward to any worthwhile suggestions . Many thanks, I do hope someone out there will contact me.

At the moment my dad lives with me and my family. He has vascular Dementia from 2019 his 88 year old. It’s very hard and sometimes I just want to walk away from everything. But that’s the easy way . And I owe it to my dad to stand by him in his last chapter. So I will carry on with the struggle for now knowing I am making a difference to my dad’s life.

My mum is awaiting a diagnosis but it’s almost certainly dementia. She too is young (61) and was a head teacher until 5 years ago so very similar! She was starting to forget children’s names.
Dementia really does rob you of your loved ones.
Wishing you all the best x

My husband sadly passed away in 2019 at 52 living with vascular dementia, he had a lot of other illnesses which can send his death. So I understand you grieve before they pass away, I’m now helping to look after my mother who has Alzheimer’s dementia, and due to covid and lack of interaction with others is advancing quite quickly now. It is hard to watch at times but we all as a family try to make memories with her. So take care of you as well as your wife.