Happy birthday Nana Xx

Que sera sera

A Sweet Moment of Connection

My Gran was always the heart of our community. She was a sociable, elegant woman with a truly amazing singing voice that graced the church choir for years. I have such fond memories of our weekly family dinners, trips to the park, and days out at Bowood. She took such pride in her appearance and her home, but my favourite memory is the simplest: the three of us grandchildren squeezed into the back of the car, sitting on her lap just so we would all fit.
When my own boys were little, they would drive their toy cars across the arm of her chair—a testament to her endless patience and warmth.

The diagnosis came in 2019, and by early 2020, following a few falls, Gran moved into a care home. It was a terrifying time for her, made harder by the start of the pandemic. I remember the heartbreak of visiting her through a pane of glass; she was scared, wanting only to go home, and she could hardly hear my voice through the partition.

Today, Gran weighs little more than five stone. She no longer knows who I am or where she is, and she often tells me how tired she feels. Yet, in the midst of this cruel disease, we still find our "ordinary miracle". Whenever I bring her chocolate, the confusion lifts for a fleeting second and she gives me the most beautiful smile. In those small, sweet moments, my Gran is still there. I support the Forget-me-not appeal because she deserves to be remembered for the wonderful woman she was, and the love she still inspires.

I looked after my mom Gwendoline untill she passed away this January. She was diagnosed with multiple dementia including Alzheimer’s, vascular and Lewy body. Having nursed dementia patients from student nurse untill I retired in 2019 but looking after my mom was so different and at times hard. It was so hard to see my once confident determined clever mom become like my child and scared of I wasn’t close and confused when she didn’t know where so was. She would ask my name and I’d say it’s Sherree ans mom would say oh I have a daughter called Sherree and then she thought I was her mom 😔 I slept with her as she was scared to sleep alone and every night till just before I lost her she would hold my hand and say I do love you and I’m so glad your here. So whether I was her daughter her sister or her mom she loved me and that keeps me going now x

My mam was diagnosed with Lewy Body dementia in 2017 when she was 81 years old.
Lewy Body dementia causes depression and hallucinations, which was the worst aspect. Trying to convince your mam, over the phone, that the person sitting next to her is the man she’s been married to for almost 50 years is a very strange scenario. Dad did an incredible job of looking after her, especially during the various lockdowns of the COVID-19 pandemic.
As my family and sister are based in London and my parents were in the north east, we couldn't be with them as much as we wanted to. Somebody was there once every two weeks, but that didn’t ever seem enough.
Dad’s birthday is in early January - just when everyone had gone back to work and school after the Christmas holidays - so it wasn’t always possible to be with him on his birthday, which we all felt very bad about. I created ‘Grandad’s birthday’ based on an imagined scenario before and on his birthday.
Although my dad also had support from doctors, social workers, friends and neighbours, it was often hard to cope day-to-day and make the 'right' decisions regarding my mam's wellbeing and care. I would like ‘Grandad’s birthday’ to help raise awareness and enable others going through similar situations to find support.
You can watch my animation here > https://avstudios.com/project/grandads-birthday/

Dementia took my dad from me twice first slowly over six years as it stole his memories and changed the man I had always known and then finally when I lost him. Being his carer was one of the greatest privileges and hardest challenges of my life. There were heartbreaking days but also moments of love strength and connection I will carry forever. Losing him has left a huge space in my life, I’m fundraising for Alzheimer’s Society because no family should have to face this journey alone and because my dad’s memory deserves to live on through something positive.

My mum is living with vascular dementia at 73 years young, and supporting her through this journey has changed my life forever. Watching someone you love slowly lose memories, confidence, and parts of themselves is heartbreaking. Dementia does not just affect the person diagnosed. It affects the whole family, emotionally, mentally, and physically.

Some days, Mum still smiles, laughs, and feels like herself, and those moments mean everything. Other days are much harder, filled with confusion, fear, tears, and sadness. It can feel like you are grieving someone while they are still here, which is something many people do not fully understand until they experience it themselves.

Through this journey, I have learned the importance of patience, compassion, and simply being present. I have also seen how vital support, community, and kindness are for families living with dementia. No one should have to navigate this alone.

I am supporting Alzheimer’s Society because families need more awareness, guidance, hope, and understanding. Dementia can feel isolating, overwhelming, and invisible at times, but every conversation, every act of support, and every shared story helps people feel less alone.

My mum’s journey has given me a deeper purpose to advocate for others affected by dementia and to help spread awareness with empathy, love and kindness. My mission is simple: help people feel better. One conversation, one smile, one habit at a time.

For Mum. For the memories. For every family facing dementia today and in the future.