Dementia Support Line
How children and young people respond when a person has dementia
Children and young people can respond in a number of different ways when someone close to them has dementia. We look at common reactions and worries of children and young people, as well as signs of distress.
- Explaining dementia to children and young people
- How to involve children and young people
- You are here: How children and young people respond when a person has dementia
- Ways you can support children and young people when a person has dementia
Explaining dementia to children and young people
A child or young person’s ability to understand and cope will be shaped by their lives and their relationship with the person with dementia. Changes at home can make a child or young person feel anxious. It is important to be mindful of and recognise their needs.
Worrying they've done something wrong
Young people can believe that they are responsible for the way that people around them act. This can include the person with dementia and other family members. This is a common reaction of young people to any unhappy or difficult situation, especially if they do not understand it.
They may also feel this way if they are not given a clear explanation of what dementia is and how it can affect people. Or they might forget. For example, the person with dementia may act in a way that is out of character. The child or young person may then think they have done something wrong to cause it.
It is important to remind them that what the person is doing is due to their dementia, and not for any other reason. Providing information about dementia and why the person seems different will help ease their anxieties.
On difficult days, adults caring for someone with dementia may be at home less than before. They may also find it difficult to manage the practicalities of caring. Children and young people might see this as their fault.
It is very important to reassure children and young people that they haven’t done anything wrong. Tell them they’re not responsible for the way that others are feeling or acting.
Talking to young people about their feelings
Children and young people can respond in a number of different ways when they find out that a person has dementia.
Children and young people may be afraid to talk about these feelings and worries. They may see that you and other adults are already under strain and not want to cause any further upset.
Older children and teenagers may feel embarrassed to show their feelings. Or they might distance themselves by becoming uninterested or detached. They may need gentle encouragement to talk about their feelings.
Think about who they would most likely want to speak to. This may be other family members, friends, or professionals such as a therapist or a counsellor.
Spotting signs of distress
The needs and signs of distress of children and young people can sometimes go unnoticed. This can happen when families focus on the person with dementia, especially as their needs change.
If you are worried about how a situation is affecting a child or young person, the following signs may be useful to look out for.
Conversations in the later stages of dementia
Dementia is a terminal condition. As the person’s condition progresses, the child or young person may think about them dying. They may think about death in general. You may find our information and advice on end of life care helpful for these difficult conversations