Advice
Sharing your practical carer-to-carer advice

Through our Dementia Support Forum, we asked you to share any carer-to-carer tips and advice you might have. Thank you to everyone who wrote in, here are a few of your suggestions.

23 January 2026
27 comments

Document the everyday

Advice from Jill, Alzheimer’s Society supporter:

'My advice would be to keep a note of your daily routine, things like how many times you’ve been up in the night, so you can spot changes. 

'I cared for my husband through Lewy body dementia, and having a simple system to record things meant I could easily share what was going on with the professionals supporting us. 

It really helped relieve the feelings of guilt that it’s hard to avoid as a carer – I could read back through the notes and realise I’d done absolutely all I could.

Find reasons to celebrate

Advice from Tiffany, Alzheimer’s Society supporter:

My top tip is to continue to enjoy life together as much as you are able to. 

'Don’t allow this disease to stop you celebrating. We nearly didn’t do anything for my dad’s 80th birthday, but then decided to have afternoon tea. 

'My mum hired a local singer and my dad had an amazing time, dancing with his family and friends. Sadly we lost him in October 2024, just a few months after his party, but it meant we now have wonderful memories of him thoroughly enjoying himself.'

Singing for the Brain

Singing for the Brain brings people affected by dementia together to sing a variety of songs they know and love, in a fun and friendly environment. We also do vocal exercises that help improve brain activity and wellbeing. 

Read more

Support their independence

Advice from Toto2, Dementia Support Forum member:

'My brother was Mum’s main carer, and thought he was being 'good' doing most things for her. We learnt that, actually, he was taking away the little bit of independence she did have.

'Helping "too much" just seems to take away the little pleasures people have, when they’re able to achieve something that they’ve always been able to do. 

Mum got a sense of achievement and happiness that she could still do certain things. 

'So we learnt to give her a chance, and if she couldn’t manage then we’d step in.'

Small gestures can offer great reassurance 

Advice from Yankeeabroad, Dementia Support Forum member:

'I answer some of my mum’s questions several times, so she has time to really understand – it gives her a sense of security or control. If she needs reassurance then I also use distraction; let's go for a walk, get an ice cream, a cup of tea etc. Or I’ll say, “let's try to figure it out together.”

Sometimes a simple hug or hand-holding helps. 

'It can make her less jittery, or help overcome a moment of confusion.'

Remind yourself of the fun moments

Advice from Ellie, Alzheimer’s Society supporter:

'It really helps me to create a ‘golden list’ of the positive times. Sometimes, when caring for my Gran all feels a bit much, I remind myself that parts of this awful situation are nice and even funny.

'I have a list on my phone of positive things I’ve noticed as she’s changed over the last year: like she’s forgotten that her favourite film is Mamma Mia so every time we watch it, she smiles like it's the first time she is seeing it.

Caring for someone with dementia can be really overwhelming, it's important to just take a minute and have a giggle.

The Dementia Support Forum

If you’re living with dementia, or caring for someone who is, why not become a member of our online community?  It's a safe, peer-to-peer space where you can connect with other people affected by dementia, share your experiences and receive valuable support.

Join the conversation today.
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27 comments

Add a comment
Susanna king
says
05 February 2026 at 10:19 pm
Welcome reading other carers comments and suggestions.
Reply
Martin Wainwright
says
05 February 2026 at 7:56 pm
I am afraid that you may not want to show my experience. My wife has has Alzheimers for six years and is now non verbal and doubly incontinent. I have to feed her most of the time and she sleeps for England mostly 14 hours over night. But I will stick by her for as long as it takes. We have been married for 57 years and I still love her very much. All I can say is good luck and stick with it. Martin Wainwright.
Reply
Peter H McLelland
says
07 February 2026 at 8:22 pm
Martin I felt like crying when I read your post, my wife also has dementia and I appreciate what you must be going through both emotionally and physically. Well done you, loving someone that you have spent a lifetime with gives us the emotional strength to care and support them in their time of need. Peter McLelland
Reply
Lesley Lilley
says
09 February 2026 at 12:00 pm
Thank you so much for being honest. It can't be easy for you. My husband, Stuart, was diagnosed with Lewy Body back last summer, obviously we had both been noticing things for a while. It doesn't help that his eye sight is deteriorating so he can't see too well do his beloved jigsaws. Stuart is an engineer with a degree so it has been difficult to see him losing cognitive function. Stuart is 74.
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John Mitchell
says
05 February 2026 at 7:39 pm
My lovely wife has had memory issues for about eleven years. She is still the “Jill” I love and care for. She loves to hear me say that phrase every day it reassures her, she says. I say it at least ten times each day.
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Sandy Carroll
says
11 February 2026 at 2:02 am
Soo sweet! I am sure ,if and when she sees your comment, that it will make her love you even more!! I am now in my first full year of dealing with dementia. The thing that I hate most is the frustration it causes my loved ones! I pray for a cure for it!!
Reply
Denise Wilding
says
05 February 2026 at 7:09 pm
I send an A4 letter to the GP before our visit to bring them up to date. I do the same for the Parkinson’s Dementia consultant. Time is short in any professional appointments. I don’t want to disagree in a negative way with what my husband may incorrectly say about his day to day experiences
Reply
Alan Smith
says
09 February 2026 at 7:22 pm
Your simple suggestion of sending a letter to the GP had not occurred to me but it will save my wife a lot of stress, I have been diagnosed with Parkinson's but seem to be her main carer, but the simple experience of a letter would save si much heartache
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Howard Hudson
says
05 February 2026 at 7:04 pm
Once my wife's dementia led to accidents in our home which were a danger to herself and others(e.g.starting kitchen fires), we took the very difficult decision to sell up and move into a Care Home, where Julie received professional personal care and we were able to enjoy a relaxed two years together as her condition deteriorated. A GP friend said he told our story to his patients as a lesson in not to leave things too late.
Reply
Ursula Holloway
says
30 January 2026 at 9:32 am
I have looked after my mum with Alzheimer’s For 5 years. Last year was quite intensive and proved too much for me . So we now have live in care for last year. But money is running out. I have social services on board waiting for financial appointment next week . I’ve been to Look at homes. But come away depressed. I think they would frighten mum. She almost acts like a little girl again. She a retired nursing sister. . She may have to move in with us which will prove very difficult as she cannot be left. It overwhelms me at times. She very happy most of time but has anxiety and asked why her mum not been to visit. And has started to say (at her house.) Believing she somewhere else she constantly looking for things. And doesn’t relax much or sleepduring day. And stays awake till 10 pm She loves washing up. She still knows who I am Most of the time but not my children or grandchildren. There is help and support out there I just had to accept it. It really does help reading other people’s stories to know your not alone .
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Rebecca Chirenga
says
29 January 2026 at 8:53 pm
We have established a support group mainly for carers and we share tips around care of our loved ones. I lost my mum to Alzheimer’s and have continued to support others in the situation. It is working so far.
Reply
Tony Morkel
says
29 January 2026 at 6:57 pm
Regularly told my memory is shocking. I think it's not bad. I'm unsure what to do.
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Sally
says
27 January 2026 at 6:31 pm
When my father said he wanted to go home and I realised that he meant the house where he had grown up rather than the one he lived in, I used to ask him to tell me about his "home" and who lived there and what he liked about it. After about 10 mins of doing that he was happy again. Add a cup of tea and a biscuit and calm was restored.
Reply
Suzanne
says
29 January 2026 at 7:05 pm
Thank you, I am struggling with the same issue and will try this next time 🤞
Reply
Suzanne
says
29 January 2026 at 7:07 pm
🤞I shall give this a try.
Reply
Carol Cameron
says
29 January 2026 at 7:09 pm
Thank you for sharing that information My partner gets confused with the time and days Its frustrating, a friend picks him up on a Saturday at 4pm to go to a vigil mass,he is waiting several times a day expecting this lift to arrive it goes on most days of the week
Reply
Linda Fell
says
05 February 2026 at 8:24 pm
Thank you, Sally. Just what might have helped when my sister wanted to go 'home' - 50 miles away and 60 years ago. I'll remember, though, as my husband too has dementia.
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Maggie
says
27 January 2026 at 3:52 pm
I care for my husband with dementia who still denies he has it, I am very overwhelmed with it all often feel full of despair but after reading these stories have made me feel a lot better and realise that I am coping better than I thought I was thank you
Reply
Alzheimer's Society
says
29 January 2026 at 10:51 am

Hi Maggie,

 

Thank you so much for your comment. I'm glad the stories have made you feel better.

 

If you need any support, please call the Dementia Support Line on 0333 150 3456. Find out more here: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/dementia-support-line

 

If you're not part of the Dementia Support Forum already, you might want to take a look: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/dementia-support-forum

 

Lots of people share their stories there as well.

 

Best wishes,

Alzheimer's Society web team

Reply
Di froy
says
02 February 2026 at 8:41 pm
I agree with the person I take my husband out every day eg club coffee it helps him alot outside the house meeting his friends they are so understanding please to say keep me calm to help him a d break
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Albert Moffitt
says
05 February 2026 at 9:18 pm
Same here with my wife who used to be a Chef but luckily I started learning from her early on in our dementia relationship which has helped me enormously because I didn’t know how to boil an egg.The only problem now is that she always insists on helping but really gets in the way and makes things twice as hard and if I say anything she sulks until she forgets what she was sulking about.
Reply
Jean
says
06 February 2026 at 9:21 am
I know exactly how you feel - my hubby has never been the brightest pencil in the box and all the family saying to me that he’s no different to how he’s always been, has been no help, as he hears this and doesn’t think his memory is any worse but I will now tell him something and almost immediately he’s failed to retain it. I try to be patient but my son lives in France, so we seldom see him as he has French students to stay and his wife teaches them English, so they have little free time. This leaves just my daughter to help me - she’s a full time critical care sister and our grandson as Asperger Syndrome so her time is limited. I do despair sometimes but I’m better off than many but know I’ve worse to come.
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Usha Verma
says
08 February 2026 at 9:37 am
I care for my husband too reading these comments has definately helped me to know I sm not alone.
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Adrian
says
27 January 2026 at 10:32 am
Mum loved music. So I made a playlist of Frank Sinatra songs and played it on my phone and through a Bluetooth speaker every time we were together. It didn’t matter that it was always the same music. For her, it was the first time she heard the song.
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Pauline Jones
says
05 February 2026 at 11:21 pm
We go to Singing for the brain, my husband loves it, he doesn't remember from one week to the next but every week it's fun. He becomes animated tells everyone he loves them and finishes each song with a little hurrah! Last week I was told by another member that when we are not there it feels not so cheery. His daycare know his love of music and are arranging a singer to come and sing his favourite songs the week of his birthday. He went to bed listening to 60's music on Alexa and keeps telling me its good. If music be the food of love play on.............
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Martin
says
27 January 2026 at 10:22 am
I try and help my wonderful wife every day even if it is only trivial things like peeling potatoes etc; She is everything to me and I could not have a better wife and friend, she is an Angel, thank u God!
Reply
Stephen Hobday
says
26 January 2026 at 6:23 pm
I’ve taken part with trying to help things like dementia. I’ve also stopped to talk to people who are interested in trying to get better.
Reply
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