Real stories

How I accepted my dementia diagnosis and tried to move forward

After retiring from a busy career, Sue noticed she was developing memory loss.  

Having experienced dementia in her family, Sue says she could recognise the subtle signs and when she was finally diagnosed, she tried to approach this next chapter of her life in a practical way. 

Taking each day as it comes, Sue is determined to raise awareness about dementia and to stay active.  

Before Sue developed dementia symptoms

‘I had a busy career in teaching and then in training. I was a primary school teacher and a head teacher in two schools, before I stepped back from teaching in my early 50s.

‘After this, I went into consultancy, specialising in staff development for schools and businesses, and became managing director of a small company before retiring in my 60s.

I’m someone who likes to stay busy and creative, so my retirement was full. 

‘I’ve always been musical, playing the piano and harp and singing, as well as being an avid reader, writing poetry and prose, gardening and caring for various pets.

‘I lived overseas as a child and we didn’t have a TV, and I think that activities such as reading, writing and art were embedded in my brain then.’

Before Sue's dementia diagnosis

‘I was volunteering lots of my time, including supporting with horse riding lessons for people with disabilities.

‘But I noticed I was getting forgetful and, having experienced dementia in my family with my grandparents, parents and uncle, I went to my doctors.

‘Initial tests found that I was in the right parameters of memory capacity for my age. But I was eventually diagnosed in 2023 with the Big A, my pet name for my new life companion.

I knew what was coming and tried to face it in a grounded way.

‘While I was a head teacher, I trained as a counsellor and learned "solutions focused" techniques.

‘This continues to influence my approach to life. You can choose to stay on "Problem Island" or get a new boat and work out a way forward, which is essentially what I did when I got my diagnosis.’

Since my dementia diagnosis

‘I’m still me, just more tired, often confused and grumpy when I forget where things are!

‘Creativity is still part of my life. I write poems and prose about my experiences of the joys of ageing and living with dementia.

‘I had a stroke last year so, while I can still (just about) sing and play my instruments, I’ve lost a lot of my "finger memory" and the ability to sight-read music and words together. 

‘I’ve begun to re-home my instruments and no longer sing in a choir, but I still enjoy listening to music.

‘I’ve continued to volunteer – one of my dogs is a therapy dog and I take her into a local primary school twice a week to provide support for the children and staff.

‘My partner passed away earlier this year and I’m adjusting to this sudden change. I’m in the process of moving into supported housing. 

I don’t want my daughter to go through what I did persuading my parents to move, so I am taking the lead.

‘I’m determined to raise awareness about early dementia diagnosis and to support fundraising. I’ve been fortunate to get involved in various projects through the Association for Dementia Studies at the University of Worcester, our local dementia service and Alzheimer’s Society.

‘After a diagnosis, it’s too easy to sit and say, "Oh poor me, I can’t do this or that."’

‘I take each day as it comes, reminding myself that the only constant is change and that there are thousands of people in a worse place than I am. I try to keep facing the sun – my friends, family, pets and hobbies – that way I don’t see the shadows!’