Real stories

‘The more confidence you can give someone with dementia, the better’ – Ian and Jan’s story

Ian and Jan met around 50 years ago when Ian was working as a pharmacist at Boots and Jan was completing her pre-registration year. 

When Ian left that role, they lost touch for a few years but eventually reunited and got married.

Getting a dementia diagnosis

Ian was still working three days a week as a pharmacist at age 69. One day he looked at a prescription and had a problem remembering the alternative name of the medication. He decided it was time to retire.

Ian says, 'Sometimes, Jan would ask me to do something and a few minutes later, I would ask “what was it you wanted me to do?”

This made him aware that his memory wasn’t as sharp and he decided it was time to get some help and support.

A visit to the doctor was booked. This led to a referral for tests and a scan. Results followed and at the clinic the doctor said:

“I am sorry to tell you that you have a positive diagnosis for Alzheimer's.” 

There was a pause and then Ian replied, “Well, never mind. I will have forgotten in five minutes!" 

That became Ian and Jan’s philosophy. Look on the bright side and make the best of every day.

Finding support through Alzheimer’s Society

After Ian’s diagnosis, the couple found out about an Alzheimer’s Society group called Horsham Rusty Brains, which Service User Involvement Officer, Tim, runs. Ian goes to the group once a month with other people that have dementia. There’s often a guest speaker who talks about dementia-related topics too.

‘It’s good to meet up with other people,’ says Ian. I also attend a singing group called Singing for the Brain. I have always enjoyed singing and it’s good for relaxing a bit. I also go to indoor bowls twice a month.’ 

‘The more confidence you can give someone with dementia to get through the day, the better,’ says Jan. ‘Then they’re more likely to go out and meet other people and just be a bit more involved with their life. We're always looking for ways to make Ian's life a bit fuller.'

The couple have done Alzheimer’s Society’s Memory Walk as well. They welcomed friends and family round to their house, serving tea and cake, to make it a whole day event. Jan says, ‘It's things like this that make the world a bigger place.’

Staying positive after a dementia diagnosis

She adds that following Ian’s diagnosis and through attending Alzheimer’s Society events, they’ve got to know other people living with a diagnosis: 

‘It's good to know we can get together and share special moments, which uplifts all our spirits’.

The couple are staying positive and continuing to look at what Ian can and can’t do through a pragmatic and hopeful lens.

‘Maybe he can't do some of the things he used to do, but he can now do things he maybe wouldn't have done before,’ says Jan.

‘You make the best out of everything and just reframe your life - make a little memory. You always have to get up and have something to do.’