Life with Ma: 'The grandchildren are concerned that Ma will be upset to hear about the death of her dear relative . . .'

Read our blog series Life with Ma, taken from Living with dementia magazine, where Dilly writes about her mother in law who has dementia.

Ma is the mother of Dilly’s husband (Mr B), she was diagnosed with dementia in 2012. Ma agreed to let Dilly write about the family’s new life and experiences in the Life with Ma series.

Dilly’s story continues...

Ma is living with Mr B’s brother a few hours away and we visit her for weekends with her grandchildren from time to time.

A solicitor’s letter finds its way to Mr B as Ma’s attorney for property and financial affairs. They are trying to track Ma down because she has inherited some money from an even older relative in Australia. However, they do their best to get evidence that Ma is the right person.

This involves some work by Mr B in looking at Ma’s wedding photos, in which the lady from Australia features. A delightful reminder of Ma’s past for us at least, and we must make sure that she gets to see these photos again herself.

Meanwhile, the grandchildren are most concerned that Ma will be upset to hear about the death of her dear relative, as they were very close. They discuss the best way to tell her. As it is, her reaction is, ‘Oh, I thought she was dead already!’

Ma finds comfort in her daily routine. It has to be said that, although she sleeps late, once downstairs Ma has an active routine. She looks at reminders on the big whiteboard in the kitchen, takes her pills, warms up some soup and does the crossword.

Ma was an accomplished painter, but we’ve failed to interest her even in colouring books. Yet, she remains a happy soul.

Dilly, a daughter-in-law



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Thank you for your personal and highly personable sharing. Its marvellously encouraging to know that's it not all doom and gloom for the duration. Your perspective of acceptance, love and sense of humour are remarkable. As an alcoholic in recovery its daunting to sit waiting for this likely future
Thank you

Auckland NZ

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I have early-onset dementia, caused by microvascular disease. I find your blog interesting and helpful to think about my own future. it's good to know that someone with quite advanced dementia can still be a happy soul. You and "Ma" both look so lovely in your photos. I write about my dementia. I was diagnosed 5 years ago, early enough that I was able to write a bool that is coming out soon. If you are interested, you can see more about me on my website, I wish you all the the best in your care of your mom-in-law.

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These blogs are a delight and capture the positives and the negatives of living with dementia.
They are simple and short yet still demonstrate the love and compassion, for Ma, of the family.

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I have not long ( a couple of months) come onto Blogging and have only now picked up previous blogs on 'Life with Ma' series. Thanks for sharing. Lovely insights into how Ma is coping with Dementia and the care and support she is getting

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