Alex McNab's story - Dispatches

Filming with Dispatches

I chose to get involved in the Dispatches programme as I wanted to help people in the same situation as my lovely wife, who I have seen struggle so much with this illness.

Molly, the producer from Dispatches, came early in the morning with a cameraman and spent the whole day with me from 9am to 8.30pm. It was a long day but very enlightening to find out what goes on behind the scenes.

The production crew watched me help Peggy with her morning routine. When it was time to take her to White Gables, our day centre, they were interested in what was involved in getting Peggy to the centre. It actually takes a lot longer than you imagine to get Peggy out of her chair, into the wheelchair, to the car, into the seat and then begin the drive. Only to repeat these steps at the end of the journey to get Peggy settled.

The crew were interested in what goes on behind closed doors to help care for Peggy. I had never appreciated how many chores Peggy did for me until she became ill. Now I realise just how much she has done for me throughout all our years together. They filmed me peeling potatoes, cooking, feeding Peggy and putting her to bed. In between we talked about the journey we have been on over the past five years since Peggy was diagnosed with dementia.

Alex's Story

I was one of the last people to realise that Peggy had Alzheimer's. I guess I was just too close to the problem. Other people noticed the changes in my wife before I did, but slowly I had to face up to the fact that something was happening.

So we began the same journey many people are familiar with. First we spoke to the doctor and then to the psychiatrist who confirmed the news. Life was about to change forever. We were in touch with the Alzheimer's Society and had appointments with the memory clinic every three months until they said there was nothing else they could do.

Coming to terms with Alzheimer's was hard. You still think 'surely you can do this?'. At first Peggy used to apologise when she made a mistake but that has changed now. Gradually the realisation sets in that the person you love, your wife of 60 years, is gone and your frustration turns to numbness. The only thing that still breaks my heart is seeing my strong, beautiful, wife doubly incontinent. It is so difficult to live with and I still struggle with it every day.

My message to the government

If I had a message for the government it would be to wake up. It is about time they realised that dementia is a very serious physical and mental illness that needs in depth investigation and investment so we can find answers.

I want to tell them how difficult it is. It is so hard to live with, yet that's what you have to do. You have no choice and no answers. So that's what Peggy and I have been doing. Others should not have to do the same.

Back to Dispatches homepage