Living with dementia magazine December 2012/January 2013

The Christmas and New Year period can be emotional and consideration for the specific needs of people with dementia may be needed. Helpline Supervisor Alex Clay looks at helping things go more smoothly.

'A close relative has deteriorated with dementia over the last year. We are planning a family Christmas as usual but are uncertain of what to expect.'

The festive season comes with many traditions, from cultural and religious practices to the unique activities and celebrations that families or groups of friends can have. A person with dementia may benefit greatly from taking part.

It can also help for friends and family to acknowledge the changes that have taken place in their condition and that plans might need to be adjusted.

Planning and communication

With festivities come noise, bustle and often lots of people in small spaces. A person with dementia may find this quite challenging if routine and a specific environment have become helpful in managing their memory loss and sense of security.

Everyone is different – excitable children could be a source of joy or their presence could be overwhelming. Would the person struggle with a big family meal or ritual present opening? Doing things differently could help, such as having finger foods or splitting into smaller activity groups.

Having more freedom to come and go might help the person enjoy the day more.

Some family and friends may be more aware of a person’s memory difficulties than others. Speaking about this beforehand could help everyone to feel more at ease.

Visits to or from a care home might be considered, but what is manageable for that person would be the priority. If they prefer small groups or individual visits then the ideal of having all the family together may not be in their best interests.

In a large group, one member could focus on helping a person with dementia feel reassured and occupied, perhaps with familiar activities or mementos that might trigger longer term memories.

Emotional season

There could be strong emotions about these decisions and possibly guilt, but there are no clear rights or wrongs and everyone’s feelings are important. Take a realistic step back to look at the limits and expectations of everyone involved.

The festive season can be emotional and for some it may be lonely. Loss and grief can often surface. There can be shock and surprise at the progression of the disease, or that a loved one may be displaying the early signs.

Seeking support can help, either from friends, family or local groups, through the Society’s online forum Talking Point or the National Dementia Helpline on 0300 222 11 22.

See our factsheets Supporting a person with dementia during visits, holidays and celebrations (455), Unusual behaviour (525), Understanding and respecting the person with dementia (524), Keeping active and staying involved (505) and Carers: looking after yourself (523). To order copies of these factsheets call 01628 529240 or email alzheimers@xcalibrefs.co.uk

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