Frequently asked questions from our National Dementia Helpline

Our National Dementia Helpline handled over 20,000 enquiries last year. Here we will publish some of the most frequently asked questions, plus the answers our advisers gave.

Latest FAQS

• How relationships can change when someone has dementia
  'I first noticed changes in my husband's behaviour years ago, and it was a long time before we went to the doctor and eventually got a diagnosis of dementia. It was a difficult time with our grown-up children, who wanted to help us. His dementia means that he is so different now and so is our relationship - I sometimes wonder what happened to our marriage and all of our plans for the future.'
  Read more
  

• Assistive technology for people who forget where they are
  'When my sister wanders out alone, is there a device that can track her whereabouts and help keep her safe?'
  Read more
  

• Confusion over NHS funding eligibility for dementia care
  'I saw a television advert saying that people with dementia are entitled to an automatic care home fee refund. Is this true?'
  Read more
  

Should we tell our mum, who has dementia, that her husband has died?

Losing a loved one, friend of family member is difficult for anyone, but understanding loss can be particularly difficult for people with dementia.

If your father has died recently, it may be worth telling your mum a few times to see if she can remember. However, you may find that repeatedly telling her this news is distressing her each time.

Instead, when she asks or talks about her husband, you could ask her to tell you what she remembers about him, and about the good times they had together. If she is worried about him, perhaps you can offer reassurance by telling her that he is alright and safe, without actually telling her that he is dead.

While your response isn't literally true, if you and your family feel you can respond in this way, it may be easier for your mum to deal with. Trying to understand how people with dementia are feeling is diffi

cult, as they may struggle to tell you or be unable to express their grief.

Be aware, too, that grief and emotional upset can last for some time after death. This is of course true for anyone, whether they have dementia or not.

The following Alzheimer's Society factsheets may be of help. Grieving is written for carers but includes some useful ideas.

• Grieving (507)
  
• Understanding people with dementia (524)
• Memory loss (524)

To order any of these free factsheets, call Xcalibre on 01753 535751 or download them from alzheimers.org.uk/factsheets

Should my father attend his brother's funeral? He has Alzheimer's disease.

It is difficult to offer specific advice on this, because what is right for one person and family is not right for another. However, there are some things you might want to think about in making your decision:

• Will your father know where he is?
• If he could decide, would he want to go?
• Will he be able to cope?
• Will his presence or behaviour upset anyone else? After all, the whole family will be upset, too.
• Would it help to ask a friend or support worker to attend on the day to accompany him?
  

What are the new benefits rates for 2010/11?

The new rates for the main benefits callers ask us about are as follows and are applicable from April:

Carer's Allowance

Carer's allowance: £53.90
Earnings threshold (after deduction of expenses): £95.00

Attendance Allowance (AA)

Higher rate: £71.40
Lower rate: £47.80

Disability Living Allowance (DLA)

Care component
Higher rate: £71.40
Middle rate: £47.80
Lower rate: £18.95

Mobility component

Higher rate: £49.10
Lower rate: £18.65

You may find the following factsheets helpful:

• Benefits (413)
• Council tax (414)
• Benefits rates and income/savings thresholds (431)

To order any of the above, either call Xcalibre on 01753 535751 or download them from alzheimers.org.uk/factsheets